faded jeans float across the blood red sky

New Adventures of the village idiot

2011-01-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

Here's a preview, full story coming soon. Am trying to take my time so that I can deliver quality stuff this time. Enjoy!

new preview

2009-11-02T21:23:00.001-08:00

new new new!

2009-10-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

scroll dow, or all the way down the page and click on october for the new badman detour:tales from the edge of space and time story (100 new pages)!

also here's a prewiew for the next issue above!

NEW, NEW, NEW!!!

2009-10-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, i meant to add a lot of my buddies, or rather their pics, in this story but had to use it on the next one as it is more suited, but enjoy this anyways, and you shall all be on the next issue...
Also thanks to photoshop/GIMP brushes... and various random pics from the net that i used to create this. This is free for all stuff...

BADMAN DETOUR: TALES FROM THE EDGE OF SPACE & TIME!!!

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badman: tales from the edge of space & time

2009-10-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

NEXT (COMMING SOON)

2009-09-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

Bad-man story is just begining, and we take a detour next with:

TALES FROM THE FAR END OF SPACE & TIME!

Regarding Bad-man work

2009-06-21T03:33:00.000-07:00

It's a fan-tribute so it's 100% free.
The meterial can be reproduced, used, modified, or whatever as long as I am notified about it first.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: By the time I finish the story, it shalln't be my responsibility if any readers go mad/insane.
I suggest keeping a psychaitrist handy while reading the meterial.
Also, like my old story, this comic is a sneek-preview of things to come. If anyone is intrested in working tougather towards a bigger/more rounded form of art, they're welcome, as it is a rather tiresome task for me to draw, edit, photoshop and write all by myself.
Peace & love
- Eddie.

ALL NEW BADMAN PART TWO SEC1!!!

2009-06-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to everyone I've ever met, or anyone who know me. You are all in me, and I am in all of you (not in a sexual way, you pervs! lol!).

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another b-man comic preview!

2009-05-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is the last preview, I'll post the whole damn story as a mag next.

Cheers!

BAD-MAN PREVIEW

2009-05-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's a preview of the bad-man (batman, hehe) stuff that I am currently working on. I really want to take my time on this one, so I'll give myself another week to finish it, or I could ruch it and get it done in a day or two... depends on the mood, I guess.

Hope you like it. It'll be fantastic when it's done.

Cheers!

WHOLE UNIVERSE EASILY WITHIN GRIP?

2009-04-24T11:08:00.002-07:00

This idea suddenly popped into my head while discussing other earth like planets on a public forum:

how to get there, they're soooo very far?

not much when we invent some way to generate wormholes... or invent time travell and light speed travell and use both tougather at once and simultaneously like a justice scale, so that you constantly time travell while travelling so that the time that goes by while travelling is neutralized, so you reach the destination zero time spent.

Einstein said that after reaching/excelling the speed of light, you start travelling back in time, right? Well, then maybe light speed and time travell come hand in hand.If that is the case, my theory about why you can't excel the speed of light is because the moment you reach/excel light speed is the moment you reach you destination, anywhere in the universe, wherever it is! Cause that's when time freezes and drops out the equation, and since time doesn't exist anymore or is disabled, speed of the object can't be measured, and since speed and time are gone, when you reach your destination, you won't remember the speed or the time, cause it just was non-existance after you reached light speed, and hence, you'll reach your destination the next instant you excel lightspeed, wherever in the universe it is!!!!So it's like a doorway to everywhere after lightspeed without taking any time, in an instant!!!

There would be no need to plan our journey as if we'll collide into something while travelling. That won't happen, I'll explain below.After excelling light speed, when you arrive at your destination, it might be a surprise cause you'll be travelling the entire distance/time, but it happens in another dimension of sorts where time and speed doesn't exist (no spaceship fuel consumption, no aging, no concept of time), so before reaching the official destination, you might run into something really intresting (like encountring other alien civillizations) and stop there instead. And when you stop at that location, it'd be like you're transported there in an instant, you're aware that it's not the official location and that you made the descion to stop there to inspect the alien civillization. This destination would've surprised you an instant ago (as it's not the official destination), but you understand it the next instant, so this is bound to a bit confusing rush.In short, all time after excelling light speed and before you make a stop (destination), will not exist, as if you were driving with just your thoughts, like a psychic searches for something, BUT there'd be so many intresting spots to stop at before you reach your official destination, that you should expect to end up at a surprise (one instant) yet non-surprising location (next instant) instead.Outside time, it'll all be pannels frozen. So you could probably see/feel everything (all pannels) all at once, in an instant. A compressed experiance devoid of time and distance. Subconssiouse data.

just old demos...

2009-04-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w166/22head/scan0002.jpg
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w166/22head/page2.jpg
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w166/22head/page3.jpg
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w166/22head/page4.jpg
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w166/22head/page5.jpg
I was bored one day so I decided to fall back on one of my old hobbies and just draw. I think I did this stuff, one afternoon, and the next morning, a few months ago. I tried to upload the pics here but it doesn't work, so the links.
enjoy. =)

STORY UPDATE!

2009-03-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

Good news folks!

You all must have been wondering as to why I left all my story unfinished. I didn't even get to plot development, all I did was introduced the characters, right?

Well, no worries. The rest of the story is on it's way, as short movies! Yes!

I'll be studying Film production in australia this year, if everything works out. I get to make six movies while I study there, and I'll be working along with my classmates and teachers to put out the story I've in my head as movies.

Expect the unexpected, and wear daipers while you watch it. You might crap yourself outta fun overload.

Cheers!

- Eddie.

REGARDING ECONOMY...

2009-03-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

I recently watched some intresting vids on "youtube" about money and the whole banking system.

Now, the crisis we're in right now, in my opinion, is partly responsible by lots of ppl not paying back their small debts, and mainly responsible by almost all of the rich/superrich ppl who aren't spending/using more than 80% of their money.

It's the same thing.

Where did the value of the money go away? Well, nowhere, we just had to make up lots of extra money out of nowhere to take the place of all the huge amount of money that gets hiddden away by these ppl.

Now, in the days of gold and silver, this might've even caused a slight rise in value, but everybody knows that paper money gets created out of nowhere because:

1. those who take huge huge amounts of money and then freeze it somewhere safe instead of circulating it, are taking something out, but not providing any replacement.
Example:
Your little group has 100 toys, you take out 20 and hide it away. Some other people too take out 5-10-20 toys and hide it away. Now, the rest of the group are having a hard time playing due to insufficient toys, (so to make them quit complaining, somebody makes some more toys, thus instantly decreasing the orginal toy's value.)

Now, this problem was noted the first time it menifested, and such preventive mesures were taken:

You have 20 hidden toys and out there 20 ppl need toys, so you make them do chores for you, get you an apple, give you a massage (?), beat someone up etc etc if they want a toy.

Now, the 20 toys are converted into it's potential: labour and raw meterials.

Now, the rich people are rich because they take in 20 toys and give out 10 toys, which leaves us with 10 unused toys rotting away in a cupboard somewhere.

How many such toys are rotting away unused?

Well, enough to cause this economic crisis, I suppose.

Bring them out, use it to make even more money. Yes we know that money while in it's fluid state sometimes reverts back to its original state, nothing, leaving you banckrupt, and so you want to keep some cash untouched as back up. Good, do so, but keep just enough to get by, otherwise the very money you're saving will be responsible for devaluing itself.

Now, that's where banks come in, and I am not a bank specialist, but still, I believe that paying off debts as a birthdaypresent or for mother/father's day or on any such celebratory holidays will help a lot.
It'll not be enough, however.

The rich must keep the money circulation going.

Yes, the only way out of this crisis might be to celebrate our way out of it, lol.
What are your thoughts?

P.S:

Rich people, do this:

1. work out a way to leech back in money.

2. Now, throw your money out into the public.

3. The process of money travelling from you to the poor, and back to you is what keeps the world moving.

4. stop thinking, "oh, well, I'm just a millionare not a billionare, I don't think I can help much, I'll just save my money, and let the other rich people do it."cause that's just like littering, you know. Every little bit helps.

5. world war three won't happen, cause times have changed and people have figured out who is the one desperate to start a war and why, and they're all willing to wait it out, so 2012 is officially cancelled.

let's all just get along, shall we?

LOCATION OF THE TREE OF LIFE!

2008-12-03T21:50:00.000-08:00

Like I've said before, I think the whole mystery behind the so called fabled "Tree of life" is simple. We can't find it because we're on it!

Earth is the tree of life!

The ancient mystic who first started the story was lost in a desert, eons ago, and under a dying tree, near death from dehydration, he hallucinated, and for the first time he saw the braches of the tree reaching out for the stars as it's roots and the soil/earth he lay upon, as the tree's real branches and leaves, the tree itself, infact!

A funny palindrome, this tree is...

and all the living things are it's fruits. When we die, like a ripe fruit falling into the ground and becoming manure (one with earth), our souls will, perhaps, fly away on a new adventure, into space or become one with it!

This might explain the unexplainable "dark matter"... or maybe not.

Nevermind the crappy pic, lol!

Regarding the characters

2008-11-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

If you haven't figured out by now, this story was written the way "Romeo and Juliet" was performed. In short, Red Jack is my wild assumption of Jackie, and her adventures, while I pop in every now and then as Jane.

The name is due to my fondness of "Crazy Jane", a character in Doom patrol.

Tim:

Tim is just “innocence” delivered through the voice of Sir Wodehouse. I pretended to be Wooster every time I wrote Tim’s (Sir Wodehouse’s) adventures for my own personal comedic pleasures, and its cyclic justice just makes me smile.

Syd:

Syd is Syd Barrett. His mind left his body when he was a young man and I wasn’t sure where it was. This was my way of trapping the mind/soul of my favourite artist in a rose coloured world where he won’t be scared or hurt anymore, while his body suffered in this cruel world of owrs. The least I could do for him.

Ed:

Ed is the common point between me and my love. He’s both of us.

Ok, now the story will start making more sense... or not...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

2008-10-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

All rights to whatever written, ideas, characters, or whatever are retained by the girl it is dedicated to (who so far has secretly been directing the story at the risk of forever ruining her reputation beyond recovery, full credits to her for that, without her, this would've been never ever possible) and, me of course!
what I meant to say is that it doesn't require my permission to reproduce, reprint or whatever this work, as long as you have hers.
Ah, just needed to clear this one out.
Thanks.

P.S: That's all folks, from today on, I quit writing... Getting tired of putting out crap after crap.
I am done as far as writing is concern.

It has been fun though, and I thank all the readers if any have been reading it at all.
This is my goodbye... I probably will post one last chapter to tie up all lose ends... and that's it, I'm done.
thank God it's over!

Oh, and this is also my farewell to my girl. from this day on I shall not even think about her, nor should she ever think about me again, that is if she loves me even a bit, oterwise I will lose my soul to a being called "Anaob".

I know it sounds silly but remember that simpsons episode where Bart sold his soul? Well, it's kindda like that, and I am real scared, so please save my soul, and love/remember me no more.

we haven't met yet, keep it that way. Please stay away if you like me.

Thanks.

THE OPERA OF THE PHANTOM

2008-09-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

THE OPERA OF THE PHANTOM

PART ONE: YOUNG MAN WALKING THROUGH GRAPHIC NOVELS!

In a theatre, you find yourself.

Eddieson walks onto the stage.

EDDIESON

Today, Ladies and gentleman, I am in a sad mood, and therefore, I present to you, a chapter tingled with the blues, but first, here’s the first part, disguised as a play. The whole chapter is basically just technique, acting as plot. I must warn you to enjoy the show for your own goodness. Chin-chin!

Eddieson exits stage and curtains unfold to reveal dim lights and a bare stage.

Two young men walk onstage carrying a big cardboard with a painted landscape on it. They lean it on the wall, and then go bring two chairs for themselves. They place the chairs in front of the background landscape picture, and sit themselves down with a coffee and a joint in their hands.

Two sexy girls walk onstage carrying another sign:

“ACT ONE: INTRO - THE PLAY OF SILENT EYES”

They walk off.

The play begins!

SYD

I see a dreamer. The dreamer is in the dream, which makes him a part of the dream.

Now here we’re, in real life. Well, look!

He’s sitting right beside you, look!

A part of a dream leaking out into reality?

The dream is the soul which makes flesh and bones feel, scream, and dream. It makes the pile of shit stored in your head think! The only unreal component of a being, yet the only thing that’s actually real!

RED JACK

I still am not clear how this theory is connected to counter-writing the storyteller... hmmm... we’re dreams, but whose dreams are we? The dream dreams us into being, as we dream a dream into being just by dreaming it.

SYD

A wild forest of gray-scale dreams. They scream and twist their way out through us. The dreams want us to give them shape and form, a body, and in return, they’ll accept us as one of them. We, a bundle of flesh and bones, lifeless stardust, will live, become a living dream.

Dream, unfold!

RED JACK

The nightmares track us in the shadows, as our shadow. There is always somebody watching the watcher, writing the writer, and ruling the ruler.

SYD

Unfold Dream, or else the nightmares will own us, dream, Unfold!

RED JACK

I don’t think that anybody’s listening to me anymore. Why does communication only break down when we make perfect sense? By the way, who’s the idiot who wrote the script?

Your view drifts off the boring play onstage, onto the dark, old and almost empty theatre. A dark monolith sits on the seventh row, alone, munching on a bag of popcorns. On closer examination, you find that it’s not popcorns that the dark figure is munching on, it’s human skulls! It turns its jaws in your direction and coughs out a howl and a gallon of blood, It’s the Dark Wolf! Now, you look at the poor idiot sitting next to the insane nightmarish monolith, oh no, dear reader, it’s YOU!!!

PART TWO: THE ONE WHO LIVED!

In Toronto, a young man lives. A simple country boy who could be best described as a village idiot. He was having a rough time in the big city.

The shadows of the big city had caught up with him, and now they spread under his eyes. He does a line upon a mirror and wonders what had happened to his life.

He use to think that he lived in a bad neighbourhood, now he realizes that he’s just plain trapped in one. He is surrounded by depression and insanity, and the only time he ever feels sane is when he goes to college. There his friends are different, and he feels like the boy he once was, optimistic and full of hope.

He has totally screwed up his studies but he still goes to college every once in a while just to escape the insanity. It reminds him of the dreams he once had.

It’s been months since he decided to stay sober, but loneliness can play wicked tricks on one’s mind. He sits in the park all evening and talks to the CN tower. It blinks back at him, it seems.

To escape hell, he writes, to a girl far away, in the college library. Sharing his thoughts, stories, moods, and pain, day by day, his addiction shifts from pain to pain.

Today, however, he feels so very small.

The Girl, unresponsive, thus causing brain drain.

In the damp room, he sits and prays. He then rolls his eyes to marvel upon his work, ah, such a lovely pretty noose! It fits like a charm, and as he jumps from the table, it hugs his life away. Takes him far, far away!

The young man who had committed suicide by hanging himself wakes up after three days! He still finds himself hanging by the noose, back in his room! Confused, he cuts the rope and climbs down. He thinks that he’s already in hell and quickly grabbing a pocket knife in his hands, he jumps on his bed, and waits there shivering, for something to happen.

“Do you know what happened? How come he was still alive? Tell me or else I am gonna eat you up, body and soul!” the Dark Wolf growls at you, Dear Reader.

You, Dear Reader, find yourself back in the theatre once again, next to the Dark Wolf. You try to scream, but the Dark Wolf shoves a book down your throat.

“Read this first, it’s Tim’s Dairy, and then we’ll go see what happened, and how the idiot survived the suicide!” yawned the Dark Wolf, trying to sound gentle but failing miserable. You, Dear Reader, piss your pants, sorry, hehe!

PART THREE: TIM’S DIARY - LITTLE HELP FOR MY FRIEND

Sunday, 22^nd:

Ah, Dear dairy, why must a young fantastic man like me be haunted by this monster called mid-term exams?

I was in a pretty rotten mood when I woke up this morning, I mean, it wasn’t morning at all, it was almost evening! I missed my classes again! What am I gonna tell my teacher now?

I quickly made some coffee and dedicated all my muscles to thinking up a good excuse. It took just over an hour to think of one, pretty simple for an intellectually gifted thinker like me, I guess. I was just about to rejoice and whatnot, when I suddenly realized that I had forgotten what the fantastic excuse I had just thought up was, but that didn’t matter anymore as I realized that today is Sunday!

Hehe, typical! Me being a genius and all, happens, you know!

However, this getting up late thing was irritating, to say the least, I mean, I totally missed the morning cartoons, you know. So I decided to sit there and be grumpy for about a minute or two. Plan didn’t work, I mean, I was still irritated, so I decided to dress up and go meet a friend.

I was halfway to the subway station when I suddenly realized that I haven’t brushed my teeth yet! Well, no problem, I buy myself a handful of breath-mints, hehe, improvisation, the trademark of a heavy thinker like me, I guess!

I buy a ticket and got on the train. Wrong train! I get off and board another train, but in the confusion, I got on the same train once again! This was getting weird! Well, about half an hour later, after getting on the right train, I finally reached my friend’s apartment.

My friend’s name is Lenore. Lenore’s a Goth rocker. She likes to sing, or rather, bleed innocent people’s ears with her whining. I knew I should’ve bought earplugs, but I guess it’s too late now, so I bravely walked up to the door and gave it a few knocks.

I was blissfully hoping that she wouldn’t be home, and was about to turn around and leave, when the door suddenly swings open, and she pops her gigantic head out.

“You’re late Tim!” she barked, “and why didn’t you come earlier like you said you’d?” she added.

I step back, so as to position myself at a safe distance away from her sharp teeth, and I asked her if I could come in first.

“Of course, Ugly!” she replied, as if it was suppose to flatter me.

I went in and placed myself upon the sofa.

There! Nice and comfy.

“The weather’s pretty f**ked up, eh?” she asks me.

I nodded, and asked her as politely as I could to shut the f**k up and bring out the beer.

She told me that I sounded as if I’ve been lonely for too long, and suggested that perhaps a hug delivered to the backdrop of a song by ‘The Cure’ might help. I told her straight up, that hugs are good, but beer’s better. She smiles at me as if I am an absolute idiot and then goes in to get some beer.

Good!

I turn on the TV and watch cartoons.

She returned with a case of beer, and it made me blush. I quickly hide my happy face, and pretend to be irritated to preserve my reputation of being a tough guy.

“So, have you finished your final assignment?” she asked.

“Yeah” I replied casually, grabbing a beer hard so as to display my biceps, and almost chocking on it.

We were suppose to write a play for our final assignment, you see.

“What’s it about?” she asked. She’s real good at asking useless questions, you know.

“Well, it’s about this kid buying an ice-cream, you know, and then he goes and sits around in the sun. The ice cream starts melting, and very soon completely melts, and that’s when the kid yells, ‘I hate global warming’ and that’s about it. Yeah, a masterpiece, I know.” I replied, grabbing another beer.

She laughed, rather like a voodoo doll specially designed to laugh like a hyena, I must add.

“Hey, what’s so funny? What about your assignment?” I asked.

You see, Lenore lived on some monthly allowance dished out by her rich Aunt. Her aunt really likes theatre, so she made her study theatre. Now, the problem was that Lenore didn’t like theatre much. All she ever wanted to do was to be in a Goth rock band, but her aunt made her take up theatre, and she couldn’t dare disobey her aunt or her allowance would be cut off. Now, her aunt didn’t object to her joining a band as long as she does it after she completes her theatre course. All she had to do now was to submit her play on Monday and she was done.

“My assignment? Well, it’s about a rat and a princess, you know. The princess has to kiss the rat, a kiss of true love, to change the rat into a handsome prince. The problem was that when the princess kissed the rat, she did it half disgusted, and so instead of the rat turning into a charming prince, the princess turns into a snake.”

“Ok, don’t tell me what happens next, I like suspense.” I said, grabbing another beer.

“Well, I still haven’t finished it yet. I was hoping that you’d help me finish it. I don’t have much time left, and I can’t think of a suitable ending.” She said, with a cunning calculated smile.

“Ok, go get whatever you’ve written so far and we’ll see where it goes.” I said, finishing my third beer.

She ran into her room, and after about half an hour, emerged, looking every bit like an unhappy sloth with a bad toothache.

“It’s gone!”

“What?”

“I can’t find it! It was in my bag and I can’t find my bag. I think I left it at the theatre when we went to see the play yesterday.”

Things were looking bleak, I mean, if she doesn’t submit her play tomorrow, she’d be cut off her allowance by her aunt, you know. And, as far as writing it all over again is concerned, it was useless, as she takes at least two days to write a page. Now, the theatre in question is the Soul-pepper theatre, which is situated in the distillery building, which is where our classes are held. It would be open tomorrow, but we needed to get the play back now, the problem is that it was closed today.

“Here, have a beer.” I told her, in hopes to calm her down a bit.

“Do I look like I freakin’ need a beer now?” she shrieked.

“Yes, have a beer, and I promise you that I’ll think of something.” I said.

She relaxed a bit, and I sat there with a beer in my hand, thinking of something, exactly as I promised, ha!

She began bugging me again, as soon as she finished her beer. It was getting irritating, and I couldn’t drink under such stressed conditions, so I told her that we’d go break into the theatre and get her play back as soon as I finish my beer.

It was already getting dark by the time I finished the beer, and I was real tempted to pretend as if I was dead drunk and pass out. I mean, me and my big mouth, how the hell am I suppose to break into the theatre?

About a minute later, we were out in the street, on the way to the theatre. Half an hour later, we were standing outside the distillery building trying to figure out a way in. We were busy doing so when I realized that the main entrance door was slightly open! Maybe they’re open today, you know, I couldn’t believe our luck. We went inside.

Once inside the theatre, the light was dark and there were a few odd people moving in the shadows, we figured that they were gonna rehearse or something, so we thought it best to look for her bag after they finish rehearsing and turn the lights back on. Best not to interrupt, also, maybe we’d get some ideas after watching them rehearse. With that thought in mind, we quietly took a seat and waited.

SNAP!!!

The Dark Wolf closes Tim’s dairy in your face, Dear Reader.

“Now, let’s go back to the little crappy apartment in Toronto where the idiot committed a failed suicide and see what happened!” growled the Dark Wolf, with a breath so foul, it made rotten fish smell exciting in comparison.

PART FOUR: LOOSE ENDS (PART ONE)

Back in the time machine, the gang parties. They stop in Germany to drop off the crazy German. Then they start off again.

“Where to?” asks the pilot.

“Don’t have a clue!” replied Ed.

“Wait! Head for Toronto, time to tie up some loose ends.” Eddieson intervened.

The machine hummed a drunken hum, and after about 3 seconds, came to a stop.

“We’re here.” The pilot yells.

The door swings open and they jump out. They find themselves in an old damp apartment. They could hear a faint sound when, suddenly, Syd screams!

“What the hell is that!” he asked, pointing at something hanging from the roof.

“Shit! I think the guy’s hanging himself! He’s still alive, but barely, hurry!” Ed holds onto the guys legs.

Syd undoes the noose and they lay the unconscious young man on the floor.

“He’s passed out, but he’ll be fine as far as I remember.” Said Eddieson, “Quick, let’s go, Syd, grab him. We need to show him something.”

And so they dragged the young man into the time machine and they set off, once again. Inside the machine, the young man wakes up. Ed immediately hands him a joint after telling him to shut up and smoke. By the time the machine came to a stop, the young man had already finished four joints, and now lay seated with a faint silly grin on his face. They got out of the machine, and into an alley beside a building.

“We’re here.” Eddieson said, pointing to the building.

The buildings door was locked, but he somehow just unlocked it and they all go in, into a theatre.

A play is about to start, as they seated themselves quietly.

PART FIVE: THE LOVE THAT JACK BUILT – A PLAY BY SIR WODEHOUSE!

The gang sat quietly in the theatre, and just behind them Tim and Lenore sat, unknown to the gang. The rest of the seats are filled with what appears to be ghosts of dead couples, artists, and writers. Most of them look European.

“Sssshhhhhh! The play is about to start!” growls the Dark Wolf, as you, dear reader, find yourself seated next to the Dark Wolf, just behind Tim and Lenore!

Out on the stage a ghostly figure suddenly appears.

“Hello, hello, hello!” the ghost greets, “I am Mr. Wodehouse, and the play which I am about to impose upon your unwilling eyeballs, is someone’s rendition of a poem by who-knows-who-it-was!”

Someone from the audience, possibly Ed, shouts, “Are you sure you aren’t just a hologram?”

The audience laughs.

The curtains go up, and the play begins!

On the left side of the stage is a beautiful girl, and a young man (apparently a young Wodehouse!) walks in.

WODEHOUSE

Beautiful girl, look at me. I am a fine young lad, full of hope. A head full of hair, a mouth full of teeth, a body somewhat full of fine muscles, a brain full of thoughts, and a fat heart which points at you. Lovely lass, please be mine!

SHADY LADY

Oh, but that is what you think, I, on the other hand, disagree. In fact, I’ll disagree with anything you say, and if you can make me agree with you, then, and only then, shall you ever have my hand.

Wodehouse walks off stage, and then returns dressed neatly.

WODEHOUSE

I am a good young man. I don’t drink, smoke, or gamble. My future is bright, and I hope that you’ll be by my side.

SHADY LADY

You may be a good young man, but then again, I still disagree with you. That, I fear, just isn’t enough. You shall not have my hand.

Wodehouse walks off the stage again, this time he returns dressed in an expensive looking suit.

WODEHOUSE

I am a rich man. I have enough money for both of us to last our nine lives. Take my hand and I shall hand all my wealth over to you. We will live a comfortable life and tour all the exotic places on earth.

SHADY LADY

You may be rich, but there are so many people who’re as rich or richer. You shall not have my hand.

Wodehouse walks off the stage again. This time, he returns dressed in a suit made with golden threads, and buttons of diamonds.

WODEHOUSE

Look at me now, my lady, I am the richest man on earth. I believe that now I shall have your hand.

SHADY LADY

No, my old headache, you’re wrong. All the money in this world couldn’t buy my love. Wealth isn’t everything, you know, no, you still shall not have my hand.

Wodehouse walks off the stage again. Now, he returns dressed like a king.

WODEHOUSE

I am the king of kings now, my lady. I not only have all the wealth a man might desire, but I also have all the power anyone could ever desire.

SHADY LADY

Oh king of kings, I desire neither wealth nor power, so I must, once again, gracefully decline. You still shall not have my hand.

Wodehouse walks off the stage again. Now, he returns dressed in a white suit.

WODEHOUSE

Look at me my lady, and look at me good, for now I am God. Take my hand, and I shall give you your heart’s desire. The sun, the moon, or the starts, whatever your heart fancies shall be yours. You will be immortal. You’ll be able to fly like a bird or swim like a fish. I’ll show you the past and I’ll show you the future.

I even created you, my lady, take my hand now, you must.

SHADY LADY

You may be god, my dear, but I am the free will, and sad as it is, I must decline your offer. You still shall not have my hand.

Wodehouse now tears his suit off and jumps around in anger, his hair in a wild mess, as if it had been introduced to a tornado earlier. He walks back and forth, and then suddenly, he stops.

WODEHOUSE

Ah, well, well... I am your secret lover, and if you tell me it isn’t so, then it’s because you want to keep it a secret. Tell me that I shall not have your hand, and you’ll be agreeing with me, and therefore I shall have your hand. Tell me that you love me and you’ll be disagreeing with me as it proves that you don’t intend to keep it a secret, but then again, the act itself lands your hands into mine.

I think it’s time to surrender to love, my dearest.

With a smile, the shady lady takes Wodehouse’s hand, and they kiss each other’s lips as the curtains slowly goes down. The audience cheers.

PART SIX: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY!

Inside the theatre, the lights go dim, and it gets darker and darker until finally you’re convinced that you’ve just turned blind. Then, suddenly, it gets brighter and brighter, until, finally, you find yourself inside the time machine.

You can see Syd, Ed, and Eddieson inside, playing cards. They all look up at once.

“Ah, it seems like we’ve visitors, eh?” the pilot exclaimed.

“Sorry for the sudden entrance but you all disappeared rather suddenly after the play.” The dark wolf growled in the most polite way possible.

Eddieson looks up and smiles, “Ah, the dark wolf and the reader! Welcome to our little ship, we were dropping off out guest after the play, btw, I believe you’re just in time to join us in our trip to hell.”

“We’re here!” screamed the pilot, and the next thing you know, you’re being beamed out of the machine onto the ground. You scream as you suddenly find yourself facing a gate labelled “Welcome to Hell!”

The good thing is that you’re not alone. Ed, Syd, and Eddieson are standing by the gate too.

Suddenly, the Dark Wolf appears and tears the gate apart, eating his way through. It was at if somebody had opened a door when in the middle of a flight. There was a loud hissing sound, and the next thing you know, everybody was getting sucked in!

A moment later, you find yourself in hell alongside the time-travelling goons. Some twisted demons were trying to escape as you all were sucked in. You feel extremely worried about what the demons are gonna do to your home, earth, that is, until you suddenly realize that you’re the one in hell, forget about the people on earth, you seriously need some miracle, or better start worrying about yourself. Make it quick, while you’re at it!

The first minute in hell is total chaos. A moshpit of demons trying to escape into earth, after a minute or so, when the dust finally settles you look around.

Hell was fantastic! This couldn’t be hell, you think. The place looks like an enchanted garden with floating castles, sexy girls, and clear blue skies!

“What the hell is this place?” Ed asks. The gang was in hell too, along with you, remember?

“This can’t be hell, it’s too darn beautiful to be hell!” syd whispered, nervously rolling around in some flowers.

“Of course, it’s hell!”Said a voice from above. It was the Devil!

Everybody seems to be scared and tried to run, and ran a bit they all did, when the Devil spoke again.

“You see, hell is a place to recycle bad souls, you know. Everybody, no matter how bad they are, has some goodness inside them. It is my duty to amplify that spark of goodness inside them, and then make them observe the evil deeds they did when they were alive. It’s the most horrible torture technique, they say, but like I said, I am just doing my job.” The devil said, “Come, let me give you all a quick tour.”

“If you’re the devil and if this is hell, well, how come it’s so beautiful here?” Ed asks.

“Well,” the devil replies, “That’s because earth has grown worse. In short, the demons that just escaped into earth, I deliberately sent them off, so that they may suffer and perhaps learn their lesson. A long time ago it use to be heaven, earth, and then hell. Now, it’s Heaven, hell, and then earth, you know!”

“This is impossible!” Syd exclaimed.

“Why not?” asked the devil and before anybody could answer, he started talking again. “Excuse me for the intrusion, but when I asked you ‘why not?’ what was the first thing you did? The first thing you did was to immediately, and instinctively, think up excuses as to why it isn’t possible. See?”

“See what?” replied Ed, looking terrified but distantly happy.

“When asked ‘why not?’ the first thing you did was use your brain to think up barriers, as to why it can’t be done, you know. Instead of using your brain to think up ways which would have made it possible, the first thing you did was to use your brain, the ultimate weapon, against yourself.

Wrong approach!

In your mind your thoughts start with ‘I can’t do this because...’ or ‘it isn’t possible because...’ instead of ‘how do I do this?’ or ‘how can I make it possible?’ You’re just wrecking your brain justifying why you can’t do this or why that is impossible, you know. Isn’t that just absolutely funny?”

“Yeah, sortta, but we came here for answers, you know. I mean, earth’s in a mess right now. Third world war about to begin, economic collapse, power struggles, and the list goes on. We were wondering if you or some of your demons were involved in all this, you know.” Asked Ed.

“No, I am not involved. I am God’s bad side, God’s shadow, and I am under God’s control. Any being that can’t control their bad side isn’t even worth to be a politician, let alone god. My job is to recycle bad souls. It’s a real crappy job, and every eon or so, some other angel will be sent by God to take the position of being the devil, otherwise the devil would go insane, you know. The more souls I’ve to recycle, the more headache I get, you know. It’s just more work, that’s all.” Replied the devil.

Now, you, dear reader, say, “Excuse me but this format is getting kindda monotonous and difficult to read, let’s shift to play format again.”

Eddieson nods, “well, so be it!”

DEVIL

So, like I was saying, I am not involved. All the problems unfolding on earth right now are man-made, and can be solved by men.

SYD

Yeah, but aren’t you the one who tempts them into doing bad things like steal candy from babies and stuff? Oh, and then you torture their souls for all eternity. You make them suffer and burn, eh?

DEVIL

No, like I said I am God’s bad side, I am bad, but God keeps me under his control. I punish souls in such a way that they become good, you know. If I just torture them for all eternity, they’ll just become worse, you know, it’ll be such a waste. I believe in punishing somebody into being good, NOT worse! That’s why hell has become better than earth. Look around, after the bad souls get recycled, they didn’t wanna go back to the insanity that is earth!

You’re an idiot!

DEVIL

What?

(Pointing at Syd)

It wasn’t me!

EDDIESON

Cut it out Ed! Like you were saying, Mr. Devil, you earlier mentioned that all the problems are man-made and can be solved by men, please elaborate.

DEVIL

Well, why don’t they just put their minds to it? I am sure lots of people would come up with tons of exciting ideas to end the market collapse, war or whatever, if it is declared that a large sum will be awarded to the one who comes up with the best idea, you know.

Yeah, in Miss Universe contest, the contestants always say that they want world peace. Somebody should start a show which focuses on how to actually achieve that, you know. It’s as if we’re not even sure what we want, let alone focusing on how to achieve it!

SYD

Right now, it looks as if the whole world’s gone insane!

EDDIESON

Well, I don’t think so. It’s just that more undeveloped countries are getting developed. Things are gonna get better maybe. Now, when they were getting developed, like for example: China, they needed a strong leader to unite all the people and lead them up the difficult and hard road of success, whether they liked it or not, for their own good. The people needed to remain lean and mean, like solider ants marching. Because the road to the top is a tough one, and under a weak leader it would all collapse. Now, china has reached its destination and established itself among the superpowers, it can relax, start worrying about its environment, human rights, and develop friendships with the other leading superpowers. A thing which it previously couldn’t afford.

Yeah, and the countries which have been long developed, well, they’ve gone lazy. I mean, when you’re at the top for too long without any decent competition, you get sloppy and lazy.

SYD

Yeah, well, I don’t want no competition. I mean, I’ve had enough with wars and deaths!

DEVIL

See, that’s where you’re wrong. Competition can be in many forms, you know, not just war. The thing is that after the technological advancement of world war two, human beings have grown lazy. War is a competition, but then again, so is the Olympics, see! Let all the countries compete every 2/3 years. Let’s see which country comes up with the best idea to go green, save fuel, travel into space, end poverty etc. Why don’t you do that instead of wasting money on reality shows which get meaner and meaner (and our kids learn how to behave by watching these!!! This insanity must stop! Stop wasting time/talent/money/culture) why don’t you humans focus on shows which entertain but at the same time do humanity good?

I think you’re not as stupid as you look.

DEVIL

Excuse me?

I was just kiddin’ man, hehe!

SYD

That’s enough, Ed. The thing we want to ask you is, why this sudden change on earth?

DEVIL

You see, the story teller has dragged this world to the point of no return. Earth, as we know it, is now all set to become the new hell, or it’ll return back to the glory days of Eden. This is a very crucial point in time for you human beings. Younger generations will either regard this generation as the worse generation ever, or the best generation to ever exist. It all depends on how you all act in this time of crisis. See all the celebrities doing good things recently? The earth is changing. Now, you all must leave. Only dead people and recycled souls belong here.

You all say your goodbyes to the Devil and head towards the gate, when the Devil calls out to you again.

“The two possibilities I gave you, you came in from the world where humans made the wrong decision. Now, if you want to go out into the world in which humans made the right decision, use the other gate. Oh, and God bless you idiots and keep you far away from me! Godspeed!” Yelled the Devil, merrily.

You all head towards the gate and then some demons rush in, all of a sudden, and kick your collective ass out of hell!

PART SEVEN: LOOSE ENDS (PART TWO)

THUD!

You all land in a beautiful, beautiful place! It looked as if you’ve all died and gone to heaven! Nature and technology co-existing, the air smelling fresh and pollution free, birds singing...

It all looks like a dream! There are flying skateboards, teleporters, laughter, love... the landscape a photocopy of heaven, hanging gardens high in the clouds...

You can’t believe your eyes...

You walk up to an old man and ask him, “What is this place exactly?”

“This is the New earth, Eden part two, that’s what they call it, hard to believe isn’t it? World peace, that’s what you’re looking at. You look like time travellers, I am one too, and believe me it’s unbelievable out there!”

THE ONE WHO LIVED – PART TWO

After watching the play in the soul-pepper theatre, the gang drag their guest (the guy who committed a failed suicide) back into the time machine.

The time machine buzzed a bit and then they were back in the old apartment once again.

“Hurry, he’s about to wake up again!” Ed says, as you all drag him out of the machine.

“Hang him back on the noose!” Eddieson says.

“What? Do you want to kill him?” asked Syd, eyebrows slightly raised and whatnot.

“NO, no, modify the noose into a knot so that it won’t strangle him, but we’ve to leave him hanging, cause that how I remember it, and hurry!”

The gang did as told and just as the man on the noose wakes up, the time machine buzzes out of existence.

The man on the noose wakes up and finds himself on the noose. He cuts the rope and jumps down. He looks at the calendar, and finds that three days have already passed! How the hell is he still alive? And what was that play he thought he dreamt, or was it a vision?

It inspired him to not give up on his love, and after surviving the suicide, he felt special. He felt as if he had superpowers or is destined to save this world or something. He felt as if God loves him, he felt blessed and confident.

He opens his window and wonders if he should jump out to see if he can fly. He was sure that if hanging himself for 3 days didn’t kill him, nothing else would. He was just about to jump out when common sense kicked in, and he realized that even if he doesn’t die, it’s gonna hurt like hell if he jumps out and finds out that he couldn’t fly.

It’s ok though, he thinks. He feels special now. He knows he lived for a reason. He is a changed man now.

A better man.

TIM’S DAIRY: LITTLE HELP FOR MY FRIEND – PART TWO

MONDAY, 23^rd:

Dear dairy, Nothing much to say today except for the fact that it’s a happy day! Lenore couldn’t find her bag yesterday, but she wrote down the ghost play we saw, and handed it in as her assignment. Teacher says she’s gonna pass. My play, teacher says, was Ok, which is good enough, although I still can’t understand why she advised me to get my head checked.

Lenore’s says she can now dedicate all her energy into that creepy band of hers. They say they’ll be touring this world soon!

Oh, and the best thing is that, Lenore is buying me free beer tonight, cheers! The downside, of course, is that she is making me sit through an entire album of her horrid songs, but, I guess the beer will dull the pain.

A little loss, a little gain, hehe.

Chin-chin!

SNAP!

The Dark wolf closes Tim’s dairy once again, in your face, Dear Reader!

Then the Dark Wolf bows at you, while doing so he slides up his own ass, like a snake, and within seconds, disappears completely!

Curtains go down, lights go out... you get up, and walk out of the theatre. You step out into the open. You feel the fresh air and the wide blue skies, you light a cigar, and then, suddenly, it strikes you!

You, Dear Reader, realise that you’re onstage!!!

STORY OF AN AMERICAN IDIOT

2008-09-17T06:25:00.000-07:00

PART ONE: SUNDAY MORNING FIREGUY BLUES

Mad Morrison, yeah, that’s what they call me. Not that I mind, and today is a beautiful day, by the way...

Rather refreshing, in these times of darkness and madness... if only you could feel this way forever...

...hmmm... coffee’s mighty strong...

So anyways, I pull the curtains wide open and I lay in bed, coffee in hand, sun, and... and.... I yawn, and a fly buzzes straight into my mouth. I wash it down with coffee.

Now, I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but the little bastard seem to have drank some coffee as I washed it down. A little while later, it started buzzing and flying around in my stomach, and rather enthusiastically at that, I might add.

I calm the little bastard down with half a bottle of vodka. Too early in the morning, I guess, but not my fault, mind ya! As if I wanted to start drinking at dawn, I had no other option, you see!
I blame the fly, and any British American Englishman in their right mind, I believe, would have done the same.

7.00am:
I go to the washroom and cough up blood. I roll around in it a bit.
Must be all the toxic dust I inhaled a few months back, damn! Now, I’ve no choice but to take a shower.

7.30am:

Emily’s woke up. I can hear her singing downstairs. I must make her take singing lessons, perhaps it would make her voice less unbearable. I feel like coughing up blood all over again, just listening to the little nutcase squeak around in such utter tuneless manner.

Must get her to audition for “American Idol”...

I am Emily’s godfather, by the way, and nobody messed with my little nutcase, ha!

She’s been my responsibility ever since Ted went away. She, Ted, and Amanda will be staying with me until buddy Ted cuts down his drinking habits enough to afford a house.

Ted’s in the army. He’s my best buddy, Amanda’s husband, and Emily’s dad. His brain’s a midget, but his heart’s a giant... may God bless him, that idiot. We’ve been best of friends ever since I could remember. Yeah, he’s been pissing me off and getting me in constant trouble for at least 27 years now, ha!
Good thing it’s Sunday today... and ah, here comes the sun, just in time!

I dress up, grab the rest of my whiskey, and head downstairs to get the newspapers. I neatly wrap the half empty bottle up with the news paper, and walked down to the local park, taking sneaky random swings off it every now and then.

The streets were still deserted except for the good ol’ paperboy smoking a joint, hiding behind his bike, and a few hobos near the 7/11. They looked at my newspaper warped bottle, and grinned, perhaps to show me that they’ve accepted me as one of their own. The thought made me sick. I quickly take another swing of the good ol’ whiskey.

Needless to say, mood brightened considerably!
I found myself a comfy area in the park, and, whiskey in hand, I started thinking. Life was so simple when I was a kid, you know. I mean, at least, as a kid, we knew that we were playing games, as an adult, we’ve all completely lost our minds...
We’ve played it for so long, since we were kids, that now we’ve forgotten that it’s all a game. Now, we’re just living the game.
The most violent game.

Fake guns turned into real guns, fake deaths turned real.
Lucky for me, I never took things seriously.
I remained, an American idiot, and come to think of it, life’s good this way. I won’t have it any other way.

I feel like Mr. Wooster of the old, ha!

I watch the pale blue sky unfold the morning sun onto me, such simple pleasures! The park bench I was sitting on, I just realize, has a “WET PAINT” sign attached. Too late now, I guess, I just kept sitting. Too comfy to move now.

Jackie... I remember Jackie.

How can I ever forget?

She was the girl I always loved and always will. Haven’t heard from her in ages now. I just hope she’s happy, wherever she is, whoever she’s with.

I won’t have it any other way. Love is love.

She was my pen-pal. Ha! Never actually met her, but the love I felt and still feel for her... it’ll remain. It should remain, yup, it bloody well will!

Way back, in the summer of 91...
...and a song gently humming...

Ah, what is this mood which consumes me once again, so haunting?
Ambiance of the sunny landscape, it shaves my head, so overpowering!

Revolution in the air.
Flowers, love, and a pair.
So familiar, so fair!

I went looking for her, in her town, ha, on my own!
Oh, and don’t get me wrong, I am not the sentimental type, but the magic that summer, in her town, longing for her. Walking down the streets of her town, thinking about her, seeking her footprints on every sidewalk, longing for her, hurting, yet loving.

Didn’t get to meet her, well, after that, I didn’t get a chance to look for her again. How very unfair, but this is life, I guess.
Everything’s unfair because we make it so.

I fell asleep on the park bench, I guess. It was already noon when I woke up. I walked back home, but couldn’t help thinking about the strange dream that I had. I can’t help thinking about this young men that I dreamed about. He was sitting in the shadows, humming a song, and writing a story. It is real strange but I have this intense, real strange, and bizarre feeling about that story he was writing. I feel connected to him somehow, and the song he was singing, so haunting!

“In life I couldn’t find you, my love, but in death I shall...
In death, nothing shall stop me from finding you, ever again... Hmmm yeah...”

Something along those lines, I guess. Well, enough day-dreaming for a day, I am hungry.

PART TWO: HEAVY MASS MENTAL WITHDRAWAL!

Well, by the time I got back home, Amanda and Emily were having a barbecue out on the lawn with all the kids from the neighbourhood. Just in time to shut my stomach up, I guess, perfecto!
I was just getting down to my seventh hamburger when the neighbour started complaining about the noise. No surprise there, they’re Muslims, they hate to see other people enjoy.

F**kin’ Muslims! I always hated them. In fact, we’ve hated each other’s guts ever since they moved into the neighbourhood. Sworn enemies, of sorts, that’s the best way to describe our relationship. Now, after 9/11, I hated them even more. I hope somebody murders their whole goddamn family.

I go in and grab my old Gibson SG guitar, Marshall Amp, and an extension cord. Back out in the lawn, I turn the volume to max, and start playing “Fight fire with fire”. The kids go wild, in a good sortta way, and the neighbour goes wild too, but in a bad sortta way, perfecto!

9.00 pm

I go to bed. I have to sleep early, gotta go to work early tomorrow. Being a fire fighter ain’t easy, to say the least.

9.30 pm

I wake up, and cough up some blood. I trick myself into thinking that it’s all a bad dream, and I sleep.

I dream...

The towers, like giant cigarettes, and out of the windows, it rained human beings!
South tower breaks down, 67th street cross-town bus people, hurry, hurry, stay calm!
Here, dust masks! Put them on Morrison, you’ll need them!
Where’s Michael? Kevin, I dunno, Kevin, what the hell’s going on Kevin?
Shit, Engine 33, watch out Morrison!
Roof coming down on me... One of my teammates pushes me away, gives his own life away to save mine. I try to drag his dying body out of the flames. Can’t recognize him with his helmet on, God, I hope it’s not my buddy Jim... finally outside... I slid his helmet off... thank God, it’s not Jim, it’s... it’s... ALI?!! F**k man, he’s a Muslim, why did he sacrifice his life to save mine?
Morrison, tell my wife that I love her...
I will Ali, my friend, I swear I will, hang in there buddy, everything’s gonna be alright...
Then he died...

I wake up, it’s 3 am in the morning. I want to start drinking but I’ve to work today. I take my job seriously. Absolutely no drinks till after work.

I can’t go back to sleep no matter how hard I try, and it’s already 4.00 am! No use trying to sleep, I turn the lights on, and pull out my old comics.

Doom patrol, funny weird stuff...

I guess I always wanted to be a superhero, in fact, that’s the reason why I got myself a job which allowed me to be one, I guess!
Guess I am still a kid at heart. Maybe that’s one reason why I am such a happy-go-lucky guy... maybe... maybe that’s also the reason why I am still single, hehe!

I drift off, into sleep...

THE ALARM CLOCK SCREAMS!

I wake up just in time for work. I dress up and leave.
Around noon, after lunch break, the fire alarm goes off. We jump onto the fire truck, and we head off. I cough up blood on the way, Sam, a new guy asks me if anything’s wrong.

“Yeah,” I tell him, “mild cough and cold.”

He’s smart, he doesn’t believe me.

“They shouldn’t have reopened Wall Street so soon, you know. Lots of civilians and fire fighters are suffering now...”

“Nah...” I cut in, “I’m just fine.”

“You sure?” he asks, “fine then, btw, Morrison, I’m just curious, but what’s your first name?”

“Can’t tell you...” I reply, “It’s a long story.”

“C’mon, I’ll buy you a beer after work!” he eggs me on, stubborn bastard, hehe...

“A long time ago, when I was a kid, me and my friends use to play in the cemetery. One evening, as we were playing hide and seek, I fell asleep while I was hiding under a huge broken tombstone. When I woke up, it was already midnight, the tower bell chimed far away. It was real dark and I was lost and scare, that’s when I met this weird shadowy guy. He wanted to buy my first name off, and replace it with “Mad”, the price? Well, he told me that he’d granted me two wishes if I did so. I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody my real first name after that. I would’ve laughed it off, but the first wish I made came true, and after that I got scared and decided never to even think about my first name.”

“Really?” Sam replied, “what about the second wish, have you wished it yet?”

“The second wish? Yeah, well, it’s still pending, I guess!” I reply.

We both laugh.

“Well then Mr. Mad, care to tell me what your first wish was?” he asks.

“Ah, the first wish! For my first wish, I wished that it was all a bad dream, and Walla! It was! Just like that! I woke up in my bed, and realized that I’ve been dreaming all along! No cemetery, no shadowy guy!”

We both laugh again, ah, I like telling stories.

“By the way, where is it that we’re going?” I ask.

“It’s just around the block, seems like one huge fire.” He answers.

Shit, that’s my neighbourhood! I just hope it’s not my house that’s on fire. I cross my fingers and wait.

We turn a quick bend and I see thick black smoke from my house! What the hell is going on? Oh God! Shit, shit, this is bad!
I don’t care much about the house but, Emily and Amanda! I pray that you just spare them God, and you can have my life instead!
We pull over, and I jump out of the fire truck.

The house burning belonged to my neighbour, it’s not mine! Thank God, Emily and Amanda are safe!

PART THREE: MYSTERIOUS WAYS OF THE PSYCHEDELIC GOD!

The Muslim family, it’s their house on fire, not mine! Man, I hate them, but I wish them no harm. They’re my neighbours after all, good or bad. No family has to go through this, I hope that they’re all safe.

The house is burning like mad, there was no way in hell we could even go anywhere near it!

Hoses! We bring out the water hoses and start watering the burning house. Good thing is that all the members of the family, it seems, were safe. They had managed to escape! Good, good, I am getting sick of seeing people dying out on me.

Out in the lawn, the family huddle together, crying, watching their house go up in flames. We try our best to put out the fire before it spreads into the neighbourhood, suddenly, the 2nd floor window swings open and somebody screams!

“Elena! Oh my God, she’s still trapped in there! I thought she went out to play! Somebody please save her!!!” Screamed the neighbour’s wife.

And suddenly everybody was shouting and screaming. Another minute or two, and the child would be dead for sure.

I had to do something... no time to think.

What do I do? Shit, no time to think. I mustn’t think!

I didn’t think, I dropped the water hose, and I ran to the truck. I slipped into the fire poof suit, and axe in hand, I charge my way into the burning house.

Once inside it was total hell. Fire and smoke everywhere! I ran up the stairs as it collapsed. I manage to get up to the second floor, but the kid’s room was locked. I smashed my way in, fell over, and coughed up a bucketful of blood.

Damn, not now, so close, yet so weak. It seems like my body’s finally had enough. I black out for a second or two, but I somehow manage to get up again. I could see the kid, and above her some huge burning portion of the roof was collapsing. I make one last effort and jump at the kid.

Smash!

The kid and me together, outta the window, just in time, and down we fell. I could see the terror in the little girl’s eyes. I positioned myself so that I would land first, that way, the little kid in my arms would land on my beer belly, instead of the hard ground.

CRUNCH!!!

I hit the ground, I guess, because the next thing you know, I blacked out.

Dizzy... can’t move... where am I?

Then I remembered. I could hear my friends shout, “He moved!!! The mad bastard, he lives!!! And he did it, he saved the kid! Bastard’s surely gonna make us all buy him beer tonight, I ‘m telling ya’!”
I could hear people cheering. I could hear footsteps, a soft kiss on my cheeks.

“Uncle Morrison, Uncle Morrison, you’re a superhero!”

It was Emily! Seems like the little nutcase had grown some brains, hehe. I mean, of course, I am a freakin’ superhero kiddo, and I’m your godfather, isn’t that just freakin’ cool? Damn, it’s moments like this you live your life for, you know.

Another soft kiss on my shaved shiny head, and a soft voice whispered, “Thank you for saving my life, Uncle Morrison, you’re the best neighbour I‘ve ever met!”

It was Elena!

Now, I grinned slightly at the irony of it all.

I just realized that I’ve just defeated my whimsical enemy, my Muslim neighbour. For years, the two families have been enemies, each family doing something to hurt or annoy the other, and the other family, in turn, doing something worse.

Back and forth, revenge, a circle of pain, in short.

Both parties losing even when they win!

But today, today, I just replied with love. How’re they gonna take revenge on my family now? Hehe! How’re they gonna top that?
With more hate? Nah, I’ll win if they do that.

They’ll probably try to reply with more love, and this time, it’ll be different. This time I’ve just changed the theme of the competition from hate to love, I guess. And if they want to top that, in order for them to win, they’ve to let my family win! See that’s the beauty of love, everyone wins!

In a mere moment, I’ve eliminated an age old enemy, a major pain in the ass, and at the same time gained a loyal friend. I just overpowered them with love, ha! I knew I was smart!
Too much happiness, head hurts!

I black out with a grin.

PART FOUR: INSTRUMENTAL - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

A light?
Where am I?

I wake up on the banks of a mighty river. A shadow fell upon my face, it was a young man. He was unshaved and shaggy, with long smooth hair, and a gentle smile.

Funny thing was that he was dressed in some sortta rags!

“What’re you watching?” I asked.

“Ah, just the creation of my creation in action.” He replied.

Normally, I’d have kicked his ass, but there was something soothing and calm about this young man. I just can’t figure out what it is, it’s almost as if he’s divine!

“Where is this place?” I asked, “Have I been abducted by aliens or am I just dreaming again or something?”

“No, I just felt that I must meet you, I like you, this world needs more men like you.” He replied, smiling gently.

“What? Whatever next! Do you guys have any beer stores around here, by the way?” I asked. I wanted to have a drink, my body hurt like hell. I could barely move. I have been lying on the ground and talking to the young man, I couldn’t even sit up.

“No, but here, you can have my wine, you deserve it.” Replied the young man, handing over some sortta leather pouch, filled with wine, of course.

“No man, I can’t drink up all your wine, I’ll share it with you, and we shall drink it together, ok?” I said, and took a long, long sip and handed the pouch back to the young dude.

Immediately, I felt a warm blanket cover my body, and all the pain was gone! Freakin’ awesome wine, I guess!

“Hey, thanks man, that’s some wicked good stuff you’ve got there, man!” I said, sitting up without any pain anymore, it’s as if I had completely healed!

He just smiled back at me.

“I must go now, but before I go, I just wanted you to know that what you did was right. For centuries, people have seen war. The funny thing about war is that it never ends. When you fight your enemy, you’ve to completely eliminate them otherwise they’ll take revenge, and it’ll continue for generations. Now, let’s suppose that, after centuries, your family has finally terminated/completely eradicated your enemy. You won’t have any enemies anymore now, but the thing is that, your young ones who witnessed you get what you want by destroying anything that stands between you and your goals, will, on that day learn that destruction gets you what you want. They’ll now start using hate and destruction to get what they want, and since your family will have no more enemies to fight, they’ll fight amongst each other, for little things they want, and in the end, your own family too would be destroyed, or know no peace, and won’t be able to progress due to spending all their time, money, and mind on useless power struggles, because that is the way they remember, how their elders used to win the war. It’s like the spirits of the dead enemies rising to haunt you, destroy you, you know. Take you back to the abyss, with them.”

“...so what’s so great about what I did?” I ask.

“Well,” he replies,” Emily and Elena will now see how, through love, her mad Godfather/neighbour not only erased an enemy, but at the same time, got a new friend too. It’ll be the foundation, she’ll build her life on, because, she has now learned that love is more effective, and at the same time, it has absolutely no side effects!

Most people don’t realise it but that’s what I meant when I said, ‘love thy enemy’, you know”

He said, drinking some wine himself.

“Here, have this.”

He hands me over a loft of bread, just in time to shut my stomach up! I like this guy.

Far away, I could see some fishermen walking towards us.

“Well, I’ve to leave now, John’s here. I must say I am proud of you. Oh, and I think if you walk straight into the garden over there, you’ll find a note someone dropped, I think it’s for you” He tells me.

I am absolutely sure that I am dreaming so I didn’t ask much, I just try to enjoy his company instead.

I stood up, and waved him good bye, and start walking. Funny guy, all dressed up like a shepherd and stuff... I wonder who he is?

“Wait, I want to know your name!” I asked, turning around.

He was already walking away with his fisherman friends, but he turned back, smiled again, and replied, “My name is Jesus Christ, nice to meet you Mad Morrison!”

WHAT?!!

A bright white light covers me... I float in empty limbo.
I couldn’t believe it... and, where the hell, am I now, by the way?

Anyways, I had already reached the garden, so I look for the note, and sure enough, there it was, on the ground near the garden gate.
I picked it up, here’s what it said:

Dear Mad Morrison,
You lucky bastard you, you’ve just met someone even I haven’t had the honour to meet yet, haven’t you? That was the real Jesus Christ himself, you idiot! I’m jealous! Take care, buddy!
TO BE CONTINUED...
- Eddieson Okram
(The weird shadowy strange guy from the cemetery, remember? Lol!)
P.S: As for your second wish, if you go deep into the garden, you’ll find it, cheers!

My heart Quickened, could it really be? I ran into the garden, rather like a madman, and sure enough, there in the middle of the garden, amongst flowers, a girl in a wedding dress. She looks up at me, smiles, and says the words I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear.

“I’m Jackie, and you must be my crazy pen-pal... come into my arms, my love, in life I couldn’t find you, my dearest, but in death, I have!”

THE CHAPTER CALLED PITY

2008-07-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

THE CHAPTER CALLED PITY: A REAL FINE LINE (MANKIND ON A TIGHTROPE!)
AUTHORS NOTE: let me begin this chapter with lessons. Lately, I have been wondering if this world deserves lessons or not. Well, a girl, having a mental breakdown, came to me in my dreams, “I am this world” she told me, “Pity me!”
So we meet again, and I’m cleaning up my act a bit, so as even kids can read this story, so no more pornographic writings on this chapter and in the future, plus I’ll be editing all that erotic stuff out in a few weeks, if I am not lazy that is.
Now, when it comes to pornographic writings, did you notice that I put all the intellectual stuff in the middle of the pornographic writing? It’s aimed to test saints and powerful men, if any read my writings.
Try to keep you temptations and negative thoughts in check as you read the naughty stuff in order to reach the important stuff in the middle. If you can’t even do that (keep your head calm and clean during this part, tolerate the itch), and be offended or something, then, I ask you, “How would you stay calm and clear headed while hearing a confession, or (powerful men) how do you not do bad things when you have the power to do it and get away with it?”
You’ve to live through the bad to appreciate the good.
As for the ordinary people, like me, who’re reading it, the trick works reversed. They are drawn in by the quick high of bubblegum thrills and erotic feels, but, in their attempt to get that fix/high they have to swallow in all the good stuff in the middle too. See!
Think about it, it works on several different levels.
So, back to the story, Ed walks out of Amsterdam cafe, high, stinky, and now, equipped with a big shit eating grin on his face! Hehe!
He had things to do, and, as he thought so, he suddenly remembered that he couldn’t remember what it was that he had to do! Dang! He was pissed, he had messed up again! He was trying to find a comfy wall to bang his head against, when suddenly, unexpectedly, uncomfortably, and annoyingly, he bumped into a familiar figure.
“Syd!”
“Eh?”
“It’s me, Ed!”
“Who?”
“Ed! Remember ‘the firecrackers, expired rat poison, and a dozen pictures of various armpits in your hamburger’ affair?”
“Darn, it’s really you! Why are you still alive? Why the hell did you have to do that to me?”
“What? Oh that, well, I had to throw them out somewhere. Sorry.”
“How can you even say that, you crazy guy? Just because the garbage can is full, doesn’t mean that you can to dump it in my hamburger!”
“Well, I’m sorry Syd, ok? I thought I was recycling, plus you’d better get used to it. I heard someday soon all the garbage cans in this world would be filled up, and when that happens, we’d have to start eating all the garbage up. That’d be the only way left, you know, so might as well start practising in advance, eh?”
“Oh really? Well, I still think that you’re ugly, and while I am at it, why are you wearing that butt ugly mask? No, wait a minute, darn, it’s not a mask, it’s your face, isn’t it? Wow, just wow!”
“Wait, wait, start from the beginning... that girl in the red miniskirt distracted me, sorry, I drifted, so what were you saying again?”
“Never mind that, what’re you doing here? You’re suppose to be waiting for me by the time machine!”
“Oh! Dang, so that’s what I was trying to remember!”
“What?”
“Never mind that, what are we doing here? We were suppose to be waiting for the bystander by the time machine! Let’s go Syd!”
And off they went and, immediately, got run over by a girl on a shiny tiny bike. They staggered up again and... Well, off they went.
The Time machine was humming faintly by the time they arrived. It was made by a bunch of Americans, Arabs, Russians, Chinese, Germans, Indians, Mexicans... blessed by the Queen herself, a Japanese black Mexican (whatever that is), knighted, piloting it with Koreans, and Thais. Fuelled by the Irish (don’t inquire about the fuel), decorated by the French, and well tested by well trained Eskimos!
Well, the list goes on, in short, the Time machine was so complex to make, that it took the unified resources and knowledge of this whole wide world to build the first prototype. This one, well, has a bit of alien technology, and ancient spells mixed into it too. It’s the standard official version. Works like a charm!
They got in, and off they went.
“Hi, wanna try this weed? It’s skunk!” Ed asked the pilot.
“Well, it’ll take us about an hour to get to our destination, so why not?” replied the pilot, immediately producing some rolling papers.
The party inside the Time machine went on fine, that is, until somebody accidentally sat on the control panel, either that, or the control panel got high to, hehe!
Things went wrong. They had to stop the machine and fix it before moving further.
The pilot stopped the machine, and they got out carefully, as they had no idea where they were and what time it was. Talk about being lost, eh?
They were on a black planet! A strangely familiar and nostalgic black planet, with black skies, and a black sun!
“HUMAN BEINGS!!! THANK GOD, YOUR FORGIVENESS IS GREAT!”
An absolutely insane guy wearing a Nazi armband called out. “Eh! How come I suddenly started speaking English?” he added, and scratched his head a bit.
“Who are you, dude, and where are we?” asked Syd.
“Limbo! The dark limbo! I was the man who fired the bullet that started world war 2, and for that I was punished, damned to live a lonely existence on this terrible, terrible planet for all eternity, I don’t know why god sent you ppl here, to me” replied the guy.
“What? How the hell did we get here, and how the hell do we get out?” asked Syd, obviously puzzled.
“I dunno, I’m just glad to have somebody to talk to, hell, I don’t care about race or religion anymore!” replied the guy, and with that, he tore off his Nazi armband and threw it away. “We’re all the same, we’re all human!” he added blissfully.
“I know...”
A thin guy appeared out of nowhere.
“I know you! You’re that guy I met before, in my dream, you’re...” Ed yelled but the other guy cut in.
“Yes, I am Eddieson, and I need your help.”
“What? How can we possibly help you? You’re the guy with all these weird powers!”
“Well yes, and I thought so too, but I realized that I too needed my help, you see. It’s simple. I have a message and I want it to be delivered to the masses through you. I tried to do it myself but people won’t listen to me, you see. However, I’m sure they’d listen to you guys, they all like your life story, they’re fans of you all, yes, they will listen to you, I guess.”
“Well, I don’t get what you’re saying one bit, but well, what’s the message anyways?” asked Syd, slightly hallucinating.
“It’s long, and I’m tired, so I had it written out. Here, you can read it out aloud for all of us to hear.” Said Eddieson, and handed Syd a note.
“I’m too stoned to read anything right now, here read this Ed.” Protested Syd, passing it on to Ed, who claimed the same excuse and passed it on to the pilot, who by now, could just barely stand.
The pilot just stood there for a few minutes, note in hand, while everybody waited eagerly, finally he said, “ I can’t read a damn thing, I’m sure it’s a painting!”
“Let me take a look at that! Oh, that’s my self portrait, well, no worries, I have the note in here somewhere...” and with that Eddieson produced another note and handed it back to the pilot.
“Dude, I can barely stand, are you stupid or something? Let the Nazi... oh sorry, I think he’s a German now... well, let the crazy German read it, I am baked!” protested the pilot shoving the note to the German.
“Read it, I made it short and direct this time, won’t take long.” Urged Eddieson, and yawning a bit, he added, “but first let’s have a joint!”
Well, they had one already rolled so they immediately got down to business.
Then, the crazy German cleared his throat and started reading, here what he read:
MESSAGE ONE: THIS WORLD HAS ALREADY BEEN DELETED!
The Mayans weren’t predicting the future, they were just recording the past. EARTH VERSION 1 had already ended/been deleted in 2012.
Like a computer infected with a virus, crashes, this world has already crashed/been deleted. Then, how are we still here, right?
Well, it’s somewhat similar (but at the same time different) to system recovery, the thing where you go back to a time, when your computed wasn’t infected yet, and restore it.
Same thing, well, kindda, we’ve all been given another chance, and we’re about to mess it up again, a second time, and this time around the virus will be more deadly, system recovery probably won’t work again. The virus evolved too, you see, it has updated itself, it learned! YOU HAVEN’T!
LET’S ACT DIFFERENT THIS TIME! LET’S DEFEAT THIS VIRUS! LET’S LIVE! UNITED!
MESSAGE TWO: MAN VS MACHINE!
As Fidel Castro’s brother puts it yesterday; it’s ok to have your own opinion.
Don’t worry about people who don’t think like you, who aren’t like you, who are of different race and religion. Don’t hate them, it’s all ok. Difference is what makes us human.
A world where different people learn to tolerate each other, and learn to live with each other is like a man who becomes a great man despite his weaknesses and demons. Such a world would be slightly volatile but that’s what makes it well rounded, special, and unique.
Our differences are what make this world “human”. Not just a giant trick, which, once you figure it out, is easily defeated, but a bag full of tricks! One after another, united, for each other!
A mixture of all, good and bad, yet, the good side prevailing gently, and without arrogance, would make this world into a human. Yes, lots of character faults and defects, yet prevailing, in spite of the gigantic odds, and at that instant, becoming LEGENDARY! A POWERFUL BEING, INSPIRATION!
Whereas, on the other hand, a world might progress under the iron rule of a single culture, or follow just one idea, and reject all other or destroy all others who don’t agree, and grow, working like a mean machine, and it’ll probably progress fast, but in the end, this world would grow up into a machine, heartless, emotionless, cold and hard, reduced to scrap iron! No matter how strong or advanced they get, they’d always be machines, restricted ideas, thought patterns. POWERFULL? YES, JUST A POWERFUL TOOL!
EASILY DEAFETED when hit with something alien to their programming, their thought pattern. We need this world to represent the living, not a second hand product (machines: the creation created by the creation of the creator)
Don’t forget being human, at the same time, don’t let your character faults tear you apart. Once that happens, you decay, a multi-cellular organism torn apart, each single cell off on their own, this world, a corpse! The galactic worms recycle you.
MESSAGE THREE: ARE YOU EXPERIANCED, NOW?
An airship!
Spirit, Dear Spirit, what lesson did you learn? Souls ride upon your flight. A hole in your heart, as in mine, a few souls enlightened, I guess. Ask them how it felt like to witness the near end of your world. It’s gonna happen to all of us soon if we keep this up.
A few souls, who were on it, will someday go on to do great things, keep a tab on them. They’re now experienced.
Rich, dear rich, did you think about the stock market, mansions, cars, and bank balance, or did you think about souls, in the possible end which you experienced?
On the other side, only souls... only souls for your soul...
MESSAGE FOUR: A CHALLANGE TO ALL THE PSYCHAITRIST!
Well, get together, aren’t you all the masters of the human mind? Well, see if you can fix it without any side effects. Are you all experienced enough to trick this whole world into being a gentle being instead of being the psychotic monster it’s almost morphed into?
World peace.
Consider that the holy grail of psychology, go on, see if you can do it. The saints, knights, and the gods of media are already on their way, because if we leave everything to our government, then we sure aren’t going anywhere. It’d be easier to do it our self than to make them understand. There’s no time to wait around for them to get to their senses! Let’s fix their mess ourselves or they’d probably never do it.
Let them do their thing, and let us see if we can focus our energy to save this world regardless of the direction they take. Let’s be the example they’ll follow!
TO SKULL AND BONES:
Skull and bones members, although I am not one of you, you must’ve already known me as I have, in near past, already felt your influence, directly or indirectly. You’ve a big role to play. This is your destiny, gear up!
MESSAGE FIVE: THIRD OF THE 22 LEVELS OF THE SELF-PORTRAIT
The self-portrait I mentioned earlier is designed after life and its deepest secrets.
Like I said before, it’s a wicked strong charm/spell or whatever it is that you wanna call it. A melting pot of 22 different charms from 22 different cultures.
You see, to enter the painting, or to find the truth, you must shed all your pre-conceived thoughts, become the little kid in the portrait/an open mind, harmless, ready for the quest, and then, and only then will you be able to enter.
It is a mental lock I designed to keep off bad people, but anyone with an open mind can enter it, because such a person, I am not afraid to show my true self to/have nothing to fear against a good person.
Next, the “hair” of thoughts, well, it’s a mixture of all emotions, thoughts, and feelings I had at that point. And the god with the helmet isn’t the devil, I say this because the helmet has horns and some of you might mistake him for the devil.
That god like being is my own invention. I call him “Thanos”. The helmet into which the hair of thought flows into, is a recycle bin. The good thoughts remain intact, just get updated, and the bad /negative thoughts and feelings get recycled, through “Thanos” or death, in order to act out “level two”. Level two is the thing I posted on some site about the boy (open mind) growing into the wolf (pathfinder) into the eagle (enlighten/vision) into the warrior (power to pull the vision, see the job through). In the end, level two will pass through “Thanos” again, and all that remains will be the thoughts I had, my ideas etc, through which I hope to live on, in your minds and perhaps, if I am lucky, in your hearts too.
The curtains represent performance, action, recognition, and the ability of witness reality from an outsiders/alien point of view while being involved in it the same time. In short, to know exactly what you’re doing, in advance. A little message which tells you, “I’ll try to entertain you into being good. This whole world’s a stage, don’t let the audience cheer your ruin and death.” A little nod to Zeno’s theory.
And the “Navigation wheel”, well, we’ll come to that last, for now, all I’ll say is that it’s alive!
NOTE: I added the self portrait bit to help you learn how to make your mind open to view ideas alien, because your mind can’t just tie itself up into a knot every time it senses something alien or new, nor should it lash out bitterly and automatically.
I hope it’s an exercise in becoming more tolerable, open minded, and understanding, which we desperately need to be now, or it’s the end real soon!
Take good care of me and you, ok?
Regards -Eddieson okram
“Well” said Eddieson, “that’s about it.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll tell everyone that.” Ed said, scratching his chin and thinking deeply.
“Well, take the crazy German back home (you’d need to read earlier chapters to get this part) with you too, he suffered for the sins of his people, and now he is freed by the deeds of his people... my, my, how people change! Oh, and don’t worry, no need to tell anyone about my message, it’s already done! Take care buddy!” Eddieson replied, looking at a photo of his Jackie, (the note read was written on the back of her photo) and with that they all got into the Time machine (which now was working fine, funny eh?) and off they went again!
Well, world, which way?
Heaven?
Hell?
The choice is yours, hell you want, hell I shall deliver, heaven you want, heaven, I shall deliver!
Make up your mind already, we’re almost in hell!

RETURN OF THE AGENTS OF DISTRESS

2008-06-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

RETURN OF THE AGENTS OF DISTRESS
It was a damp day in Vancouver, not to mention the fact that people kept asking me if I was from East Hastings! Nah!
“Who am I?”
Hmmm...
Don’t ask me stuff I don’t know, ok? I mean, how the hell am I suppose to know who you are?
Readers? Don’t know, at this rate, you’re all starting to sound insane!
You see, I came here looking for Jane. I’ve been mesmerised by that sexy, but otherwise absolutely crazy girl, ever since she jumped into my room, through the window, that morning, nearly a decade ago! Although, I still don’t understand why she took off so suddenly, accompanied by my wallet, I must admit that she has the best looking ears in this whole wide world! Such a pity, they don’t really work, due to an abundance of the best looking earwax in this whole wide world, I guess...
That girl just doesn’t listen, you see!
Back to the story, as I was saying, it was getting dark, and I had little time to waste, and lots to do in my mind.
Suddenly, through the unreasonably sexy evening breeze, out pops...
Amsterdam cafe?!!
Where the hell did that come from? Dang! What do I do now?
I’m in a hurry, but I guess things which need to get done right away can wait a while, hehe!
Far...
Far away, but, not that far away, a shadow, she watches...
In secret, and her lonely heart blushes...
Somewhere, in some washroom, somebody flushes...
The Agents of distress lick their claws, skilfully concealed in some bushes...
Adrenaline rushes, as a homeless man shakes his homeless fist, and crushes...
Down on Davie Street, a young man tries on beautiful dresses, with soft, soft laces...
While somewhere, the ill-willed imposter, an absolute loser, death, faces...
Off to hell, you! There! Fixed you, I did, hellhounds, you, traces...
Bring nothing but hell to anybody that supports you! Your soul, in hell, paces!
Well, once inside the Amsterdam Cafe, I was busy chatting up with my buddies who work there and stuff, when I realized that a sexy-hot-long legs-sexy girl, who was sitting in the corner, was eyeballing me non-stop.
I excused myself, and rushed at her!
She grabbed my nuts and threatened to tear it off, if I didn’t calm down.
I didn’t know what to do!
Should I do as she says, or keep focusing on my erection?
Ah, decision making is such a strain!
Well, she, on the other hand, seemed like a girl who couldn’t keep her mouth shut, and kept talking!
“The shop next door, the one with pipes, and papers, and all that kindda stuff...”
“I know that store! Why, it’s right next door, and they sell pipes, and papers, and all that kindda stuff!” I replied, and pretty honestly, mind you!
She, for some sick reason, squeezed my balls even harder, I immediately had an orgasm! She gave me a disgusted look, and let go.
The torture that took a detour, and landed a handjob? Hehe!
“You’re sick!” she said.
“Why? Are you a doctor?” I replied, genuinely surprised!
“No, listen, are you really crazy?” she asked, sounding irritated.
I just kept stareing at her boobs.
Angrily, she looked at me looking at her boobs, blissfully.
This continued for quite a while, in blissful silence. The joint that I had earlier, with my buddies, was settling in.
By that I meant, that I started seeing her boobs in different, shades, hues, and tones!
The last thing I saw was her fist, unreasonably close to my face, and then lots of stars, and then I felt something sexy (probably her) dragging me out into the streets.
“Listen, you retard!” she said.
“The cardboard sign thing they put out in front of the store, on the sidewalk, as an ad, with the weird psychedelic painting on it, you know that?” she added, grabbing me by the collar and shaking me up a bit.
I got naughty and hugged her.
She probably thought that I was still dizzy from that punch, because she didn’t immediately start killing me, instead, she kept talking.
“That’s a magic painting! It’s actually a message, study the hidden symbols!”
Here, let me remind you that, I pretended to be even dizzier, and slowly slid down her, while she spoke.
Mission success! My face was directly upon her breast now.
“Massage? Uh... message?” I spoke into her breast, to keep her talking.
I slid my hand under her shirt... hand went exploring, you know.
“What’re you doing?” she asked, suddenly sounding rather like a bull.
“So dizzy... about to fall down... hanging onto your boobs...” I replied.
She didn’t seem very convinced, and immediately started strangling me... I kept thinking, “Maybe I should finger her...”
Then I blacked out...
Oh, such pretty little stars... little stars?
Where?
Nebula?!!
Is that a freakin’ ghost ship?
Ed finds himself floating slowly towards the Ghost ship... suddenly, in space, a breeze!
Eyes freeze on a yellow envelope. “To Ed” it was labelled!
Fingers that once tightened around smooth, soft breasts now run over the envelope.
Inside, a short letter:
Hi Ed,
Time’s short, so I’ll get straight to the point. Let me pitch an idea to you.
You can pitch it to all the commercial airplane companies.
You see, I’ve found that most people around the world can’t afford to travel around a lot. The airplane companies can’t just lower the price of the ticket, because another main problem that prevents most people from flying is the VISA application. The application process, the waiting, and all the unnecessary hassles are a major turn off, especially in the poor countries.
So, airplane companies, you want more business, right?
Well, there is a way.
First of all, all the countries should have an “international area”.
Now, before we go further, let me explain “international area” a little further.
INTERNATIONAL AREA: what the hell is it?
Every country should pick out a small neutral area as a tourist spot. Somewhere beautiful, and, if the country feels unsecure, can have its boarders heavily guarded. See, this area will be like that pressure sealed room in submarines and stuff, which, a person uses to get in and out of the submarine.
Some countries are strict about who they let in. What I purpose is that, VISA to this area, in every country, no matter how strict, should be given very easily and without hassle of any sort, like buying a bus ticket, because, like I said earlier, they won’t be entering the rest of the country, they’d be contained within this beautiful area, so no need to worry.
The whole point of establishing such an area is:
- To dramatically increase tourism, and thus generate wicked profit for the country.
- To educate the youngsters about other cultures, so that they would be more open minded and aware of other cultures, places, and more tolerant to people unlike them. Because, it’s the fear of the unknown that creates all these stereotypes, you know, “people are strange when you’re a stranger”.
- It would dramatically reduce the cost of an airplane ticket, because, so many people would be flying. Once such an area, in every country, is created, the airplane companies would make ten times more, even if they cut down the price of the ticket by 5 times! Imagine, millions of people taking a world tour every day!
Also, this would remove all the phobias and misconceptions we have about other cultures, places, and people. There would be something new to learn every day, something new to see. Imagine, people from all around the world, including South Korea, hanging out in such a peaceful international area in north Korea, where they’d (the tourists) be contained, but still be able to experience north Korea! Imagine such a place of contained diversity in every country, even countries like Burma, Iran, and Afghanistan!
If such an area is indeed established, it would put the biggest, busiest, and most diverse cities of this world, to shame! Also it can be an ideal place to film/TV shows about saving this world, right?
I think I once told you about all this different branches of science, as different senses, with which we interpret this universe. This include all the different thinking patters, languages, cultures etc too. Last time, I said that this world is an infant, well, let me be a little more cruel.
This world is starting to look like a 30 year old mentally retarded virgin!
Old enough to live, but still unable to function, as all the senses aren’t co-ordinated! Unable to do anything!
That’s why I was talking about bringing all these different scientist from different fields of science, who speak different languages, together, in a room, to discuss about progress and the universe in general.
This is because to properly see how this universe works, you’ve to have all these senses (mastery of all these different fields of science) and in order for a single human to accomplish that, he’d have to have a lifespan of at least a thousand years, and an excellent memory. We know we don’t live that long, so whatever we lack in time we are making up for it in numbers, some will learn this and some will learn that, we don’t miss anything, but the problem is that all the people, after collecting all these different info/senses, aren’t sharing/uniting/collaborating, see!
Think how confused this world must have been. It can see, hear, feel, smell and taste everything, but it’s using just one sense at a time! When it can see, it only sees, can’t hear, touch, smell, or feel! Just as people studying physics only focus on physics, shutting off all other branches, in order to reach the top of that particular science. Which is a must, otherwise, if the person tries to master all, he wouldn’t know anything properly, but would have a basic idea of all, like a jack of all trades, because he doesn’t have enough time in his short life to master all. But this problem can be easily solved by putting others experts in their own different branch of science together, and making them think as one. Yes, see the problem now? Everything is already there, we just need to unite!
We don’t have time, but God has given us numbers, to use this power all you’ve to do is unite! How simple is that?
Maybe it is God’s little trick, all we have to do, people, is to stop fighting. It’s a test, to graduate, pass this test, prove you’re fit to survive, and I’ll give you the next level!
I will turn you all into gods, all you’ve to do is unite, simple! If you can’t, well, you’re not worthy of moving onto the next level, YOU FAIL!
It’s like you’ve potatoes, chicken, garlic, spices, salt etc all the ingredients required to cook, but you’re just not putting them together into the pot.
Darn it, I’m hungry, cook already!
Regards
-Eddieson O
“Hello Ed”
Ed turned around towards the voice. At the other end of the ship, where a couple were standing. One was a thin young man, and the other, a sexy girl.
“Do I know you?” asked Ed. “how did I get here?”
The thin shabby guy, yawned a bit, scratched his chin, and takes a sit.
“Ah, never mind that, Tim and Red Jack, just passed through here a while ago... I’m taking you all somewhere.”
The lady in the shadows stepped forward, her dress a dark ink blue, her lips the brightest red, and her eyes a furnace!
“Jane?” Ed exclaimed, in a squeaky voice, looking absolutely rattled!
“No, although Jane is a part of me, just as you’re a part of him” she replied, pointing to the thin shabby guy. “He’s Eddieson”
“Nice to meet you, Ed, I am Eddieson, and this blue lady here, she’s my lover, her name is Jackie. Hope you’ve a nice journey, we’d like to stay a little longer, but we’ve to go have real loud sex, she bites, you know...”
With that the couple started kissing and rolling around moaning and whatnot. Ed wisely decides to leave.
He woke up, back in Vancouver, beside an alley. It was kindda dark. A couple of drunken girls were laughing at him, but he didn’t care. He had wasted too much time, and had lots to do in his mind.
“Darn! Where’s that girl who tried to strangle me” he thought, rather fondly.
He picked himself up, and slithered on. The past few months, his life has been hell. Somebody really wanted him out of Vancouver, although he couldn’t think of a reason why.
The thing that bothered him most was the fact that the agents of distress were now zooming in on him. Things were about to get hectic, dire need for a great tactic.
He must go online. A few months ago somebody told him that Red Jack use to post on DV. He needs to get in touch with Red Jack, so he handle-jacked Red Jack and posted his situation. This was one last attempt to get in touch with red Jack, one last hope to get out the mess, alive!
“Where is Lady Jane?”
“Shady, moody, dark blue pain!”
“Where is my Lady Jane?”
“Give me Jane, or I’ll end my life in pain!”
“In her arms, I’ll die as it rains”
PART TWO: TALKING DEAD - ONCE IN A LUNCHTIME – PAST
As the ambulance rolls away from the club, Tim inside, as Ed and the bystander look on.
A dark creature suddenly lands on top of the vehicle. Immediately, the vehicle is reduces to shreds and they had to call another ambulance to take the injured ambulance to the hospital.
Meantime, the dark figure jumps back into the sky, dragging Tim along.
As they disappear into the clouds, the clouds changed colour and turned Violet... suddenly rain and hail poured down, the funny thing was that the “hail” were actually human skulls.
People began to run right and left, some even climbed stairs, and some descended down the stairs! Some pissed their pants, some pissed their shirts, don’t ask how, just say wow!
PART THREE: Enter the mad director:
Meantime, the mad director was walking down the main and hasting street, past the Brickhouse. He was broke and very heartbroken, when, all of a sudden he saw a girl skateboarding on the other side of the road. She was wearing a green brown plain army jacket and looked super cool.
Lady Jane?
His heart skipped a beat, and he turned back wanting to yell her name and tell her that he loves her, and just when he turned back and looked at her, she did the same! They stood in silence for about a minute, when a loud bus spoiled the moment, and by the time the bus went past, Lady Jane was gone too!
She got off her skateboard, and looked at the mad director! He would’ve at least walked up to her and ask for a cigarette, when he suddenly realised that his clothes were shabby, and his armpit could even put a skunk in coma! He also was scared of her, and didn’t wanna get raped, so he just looked at her for about a minute, and she did the same.
“She’s so cool, I’d love to get raped by her! And when I’m done, she’d still wrestle me or beat me up and do me again and again!”
The mad director immediately had an orgasm after that thought, but he walked on as horny as can be.
A big regret is born.
FORCLOSURE OF A REALM:
A starry night…
Revolution in our minds…
Secret shadows closing in…
Friendly greetings echo… echoes of times when hearts overflowed…
Ghostly full moon night… shining bright… faded neon light
…And we are in a little town called Knots Ville!
INTRO:
You would find people living here pretty strange. This may be due to the fact that most of the people living here are mainly artists or scientists.
Near the edge of the town was a forest, and over it, a mountain. Near the forest was an old school called “The Green Mount High”, and near it, was a little house that somehow seemed much older than the ancient school. This was the home of the Winterkin brothers.
Now I’m so particular about them because this is where our story starts!
Tim Winterkin was a normal 13 year old kid with messed up red hair, a good heart, and a face that could be mistaken, and often was, for that of an extremely retarded beaver’s! He studied in Green Mount High. He had a big brother, Cliff.
Cliff Winterkin was a thin, mysterious, eighteen year old young man with long black hair, cat eyes, and fever brain, whatever that means!
He might be the only person, in this whole damn world, to have always managed to screw up every single thing he ever did, or probably will ever do.
No small feat, mind you!
Cliff was a singer. He sang and played guitar in a local band called, “The dead Hallucinations Inc.” which was very popular in their town, but nowhere else. He was able to send his brother to Green Mount High from the little income he usually got after gigs, plus, the old principle was a friend of their grandpa, so when Cliff was broke he usually took over.
Cliff himself use to study at The Green Mount High, but he had some fantastic trouble with the teachers, the rules, and the routine, thus earning him the worse student ever trophy! The teachers knew he was causing too much mischief, but were never able to prove it, or catch him red handed, so they begged him to quit his habit or quit the school, and he quit the school.
They had nothing special in their hut except for a very old enormous mirror, with two wooden statues (one evil looking, and the other, ugly looking) on either sides holding the mirror, below, written in bold letters, were the words, “GATEWAY MIRROR”.
The mirror was kept in the attic as a tribute to their grandfather, who liked the mirror so much that he slept with it, up in the attic, during his last days.
Freaky, eh?
I know, I know… ha-ha!
His last wish was, for the brothers to neither part with the mirror, nor move it from its present location, no matter what happens.

Ah, now that the introductions are all done, let’s get to the fun part and start the story, shall we?

Good, read on, dear readers!

CHAPTER NEW: Time unknown
BUSTED ILLEGAL CHICKEN DEALER/LETTERS FROM MISTER DOG
It was a fine morning. Tim could feel the sunbeams crawl in through the windows, but he didn’t open his eyes. The summer holidays were about to end, and that meant that, in a few days time, he had to get up early to go to school every day.
He decided to sleep some more while he could, being the lazy little bastard that he was. He counted the days in his mind, and realized that he had only a week left before the school reopens, but we can’t rely on his calculations since he was hopeless in mathematics, so who knows, and we don’t want our calculations screwed up, right?
Well, anyways, he was trying to get school out of his mind, when somebody suddenly shook him awake.
It was his friend, Johnny.
Johnny Hammett was a tiny miserable looking boy. Some of the world’s most miserable men had quit the idea of committing suicide, after eyeballing good old Johnny in action, declaring, that they had just witnessed the undisputed master, and confessing that, if he (Johnny) can live with it, why couldn’t they!
Mind you, Johnny was that miserable!
He had sad blue eyes, which always seemed to stare faraway, and reddish black hair. He was a self-assured and self-confessed coward.
In fact, the whole idea of getting scared use to scare him every few seconds, because, the only thing he feared, was fear itself, you see!
He lived with his grandfather “Mr. Woody” across the street. Mr. Woody was an old mad scientist. Neither Johnny, nor anybody he knew, except for Mr. Woody and Tim’s grandfather (Mr. Woody’s best friend), had seen his parents. In fact, he was raised entirely by his grandfather, a feat, which was some sort of a miracle in itself, I’d say!
Nobody knows where his parents went, or what happened to them.
Some old folks say that they are dead, while others say that Johnny scared them away with his teeth, which was a real mean thing to say, I’d say!
A few days ago Mr. Woody was trying to paint his teeth white, because they were turning yellow, or some other color that resembled yellow!
Very entertaining old bloke, this Mr. Woody, an absolutely fun character, I’d say, if you ignore the fact that he’s one absolute fruitcake!
“What’s up?” Tim asked yawning lazily.
Johnny thought for a while, and after what seemed like an hour,(excuse me, but my watch is broken, so somebody either buy me a new watch, or my timing is going to be way off for the rest of the story) he finally asked, “Grandpa wants to see your old family album, so can I take it?”
“Ok… but why does he suddenly want it?” Tim asked.
“Oh… whenever I ask about my parents, he… well, he keeps pretending, you know, like he’s just remembered something important, or acts as if he has totally gone insane, so today I kept asking him about it, and after asking him about 10,000 times, he finally told me that I shouldn’t disturb him today, because he was performing this really important experiment or something and he also told me that I could find a picture of them in you old family album so… that’s it” said Johnny at last.
Tim had no idea what to say (actually he wanted to kick Johnny’s butt for waking him up so early in the morning but maybe he was too sleepy to do it for he didn’t) so he simply said, “why don’t you ask Cliff he knows where that thing is…”
Suddenly they heard someone yelling about two rock bands called the melvins, and the cows coming to do a rock concert in their town (in a voice that greatly resembled Donald duck in his weirdest drowning accident or something)
“Is that Cliff?” asked Johnny shivering like a spineless… well… shit or something. Who cares, read on!
“Yeah” replied Tim yawning. “Always yelling in his sleep about something or other… once I caught him sleepwalking upstairs into the attic and then I couldn’t hear a thing I thought he must’ve fallen asleep so I went to sleep.”
They walked in the next room and woke up Cliff.
“Hmm… what day is it today?” asked Cliff and fell asleep again.
“Hey! Wake up Cliff we got something to ask you, and today’s Sunday.”
Cliff yawned angrily, “Ah… black Sabbath” he said “What is it that you want to ask me?”
“Well do you know anything about Johnny’s parents and where did you keep our old family album?”
“Wait let me remember… “At that point Cliff fell asleep again, and Tim was forced to use a glass of water. He was just about to pour it on the “sleeping beauty” when the “sleeping beauty” suddenly sat up, took the water from Tim’s hand, drank it up and fell asleep again.
After much struggling which would’ve made even god tired, Cliff woke up. (But maybe it was because he was hungry, it was already 1.00 pm, you see…)
“Well grandpa told me that Mr. Woody was a bachelor.” Said Cliff finally.
“That means he’s not my real grandpa?” whispered Johnny looking as if he was about to faint. (But don’t panic for it was almost normal for him)
“Might be… strange isn’t it? Come on, don’t just stand there… cry stupid cry” Cliff said lovingly.
Cliff didn’t like to talk about parents and stuff because he himself is an orphan who had never seen the face of his parents… but somehow he does a very good impression of not caring shit or something.
“Come on Cliff it’s no time to joke… look at Johnny” Johnny was leaning against the wall looking every inch like a sick banana cornered by a box of chattering chimps. (And by the look on his face it’s obvious that the box is an unlocked one)
“Well at least that’s what grandpa thought until some years ago Mr. Woody invited him to his son’s marriage or something…”
“Then your grandpa saw my parents?” Johnny managed to say through a mouthful of mixed emotions. (Or maybe it was a re-mixed version of a mixed emotion… who knows…)
“Hold it right there don’t move a muscle Johnny!” screamed Cliff snapping his fingers. (Looking every inch like a painfully brainy pig, who had just hit upon a noble idea to sandwich his owner between two smelly piles of hay and then eat him up or something)
“What’s the matter, Cliff?”
Cliff suddenly pulled a camera out of his cupboard and began taking pictures of Johnny in his sick banana pose.
“This is going to be on the cover of the new album by The Dead Hallucinations Inc… it’s called ‘Busted Illegal Chicken Dealer’ cool”
“Whatever! Where’s the old family album anyway?” Tim asked quickly incase Cliff started talking again.
‘Last time I saw it was in the attic… but then again I think I’ve given it to someone… I just can’t remember who… oh! Right! it was a funny looking man that stepped out of the mirror… he said he was grandpa’s friend or something… Look I’m really confused I don’t know if it was a dream or if it was real… blah… blah… blah…”
“Come on let’s search the attic” Tim told Johnny and they hurried upstairs and searched everywhere but couldn’t find it anywhere.
“Cliff… Are you sure it was in the attic? I mean we can’t find it, maybe you’ve misplaced it… did you?”
“Like I told you before I think I’ve given it to the man from the mirror or something…” replied Cliff scratching his head. (Was it with a hope to charge up his brains?)
“Wow… somebody seriously needs some reality check here!” chorused Tim and Johnny, looking at each other.
“Well Tim… Do you remember grandpa’s funeral?” asked Cliff with an evil twinkle or two in his eyes… ha!
“No, maybe I was too young… why are you asking that?” replied Tim.
“Well that’s because there was no funeral, Tim… grandpa never died… he just sort of disappeared!”
“What?”
“Yeah grandpa was real sick that day when this funny looking man came to visit him… said he was grandpa’s friend, so I showed him the way upstairs into the attic… for some time I could hear them talking in low murmuring voices and then there was silence a rather long one. I thought it was strange, so I went upstairs to check and there was nobody there… no grandpa, and no funny looking guy, they were gone just like that! Haven’t heard from him after that.”
(Knock… Knock…)
There was a knock on the door.
“Who’s there?” screamed Cliff. “I’m armed with a guitar”
“Open up it’s the F.B.I… I am officer Melvin, and this silly giant behind me is Andrew, of course, you can’t see us, your door not being transparent or something, but we’re terribly sorry to inform you that you’re under arrest for overage stupidity.”
“Come in guys”
Melvin was an extremely scary though stupid dude, who compared to the whimsical yet stupid Andrew looked real small. Andrew was about six feet tall, and wanted to be a really scary character like Melvin but his stupidity really gives it away. Andrew really wants people to be scared of him, but the truth is no one really respects him.
Here’s his favorite line "Blah… blah… blah....I will eat your soul as if it was made up of flowers...fear me little kid....blah… blah… blah...there is no hope available, but plenty to fear...I have stolen all your doughnuts...blah… blah… blah... I’m a scary monster...” Ooh real scary! Get the point? It’s no wonder that the kid that he tries to scare or bully often mistakes him for a clown or something. But, then again, they had a heart of gold deep, deep, deep down inside.
“Hello Melvin… Hello Andrew!”
“Yeah… yeah… just shut up!” barked Melvin in appreciation.
“Cliff is the lyrics ready?” asked Andrew.
“Yeah… come on in.” replied Cliff with a shit-eating grin that threatened to split his face into two smaller but equally annoying parts.
Everybody walked into Cliff’s room. (The walls were covered with damp dark red wallpapers and a few framed pictures of dead bodies and disfigured faces were neatly hung on them.)
Cliff pulled out a few sheets of paper from the cupboard, and handed it to Andrew who read it out aloud…
LETTERS FROM MISTER DOG
“Once there was a dog
Or maybe it was a cat
Jim say’s it was a frog
But it really was a bat

It was really confusing
Like that backyard of a face that I trace back to you
The only way out is diffusing
Wait don’t sing with me or your dentist’s bills will be due

Anyway, do you like this song?
Please like it even if you don’t
Or I’ll kick you all along
Sue me and I’ll say I didn’t”
Contd...
Note: NEXT CHAPPTER WILL BE WICKED!

EDDIESON OKRAM IS BACK AGAIN!

2008-06-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

LESSON CHAPTER: FIRST STEP INTO THE STORY

INTRO: Ah, it’s me the mad director again!
Feels good to be back inside the story doesn’t it? Well, never mind, as of now, let’s forget what’s currently happening, and go visit Red Jack in his future, say, ten years into the future from where we left him last..
FIRST PART: A LIGHT MUDDY DARK BLUE STORM
Out of the storm that hugged the landscape, blurring moonlight, in a ghostly mess, yes, out steps, Red Jack!
“Why this unholy head ache?” he uttered, and scratched his head, wished he wasn’t so utterly mad... bad... sad... red jack?
“I am Red Jack?”
“.!.”
“Is my image trapped by the bad vibes attached to this name? Am I going to let a name destroy my true self? Why allow the name to change me?
If, I could only... if I could only change the vibe of this name! Completely recycle it’s bad baggage...
Ah, I daresay, I should!”
And he stood there, storm leaking inside his head.
The colour “blue”, his bed, somewhere I read.
Finally he scratches his chin, and exclaims, “Headcheese!”
SECOND PART: déjà vu?
I was resting under a ladder, for some reason, when out of nowhere, a most annoying voice yelled, “TIM” into my right ear, immediately rattling all the earwax inside! More annoying was the fact that it was immediately followed by more yelling into the left ear along the lines of, “HOW ARE YOU? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...!”
I turned quickly, with skills, only reserved by god, for extremely talented ninjas... but I slipped, and I fell, cheek-slamming the ground!
But that was due to the dry ground being so slippery, my skills are legendary, mind you, not my fault!
I blacked out!
Nah, before I blacked out I thought about all the people who’d be laughing at me... butterlegs?
Oh god!
Yeah, and now I blacked out...

COMMERCIAL: TIM DREAMS AGAIN, INSIDE A DREAM!
Again, the blue seas rise...
They come in “red” size...
And Tim lands, upon a surprise!
Floating high, near a space ship, with sails that snitches ghosts together, as meanings and stories behind it gather, driving the ship on...
Into the unknown...
Tim floats towards the ship, a ship so huge... HUGE!
He climbs on board, and before he could take another step, by his foot, a note.
It wrestled him into a trance, tied his attention into a knot.
He picked it up in slow motion, and eyeballed it with dripping notion.
Thoughts, immediately, started sliding, as if on lotion!
Here’s what was written:
AN OPEN LETTER TO YOU.
Hello Tim,
Consider yourself as this world that we live in. Consider all humanity as one, YOU! Now, let’s say, you have certain infected organs.
A liver disease?
How do you cure yourself?
By completely destroying the liver? No liver, no problem?
No, right? The infected liver is a part of you.
You fight the wrong enemy... hurt yourself... you do these:
1. First of all, you need to accept that the liver is infected by your abuse (how you behave towards it, drinks?), don’t abuse it anymore.
2. Liver is not the problem, germs infecting it are. Negative or bad thinking patters are the germs here, as the liver now represents a group of people/slice of earth.
3. Take medication and cure it, here, the cure is ideas, beautiful and unsurpassed in scale. Something that would truly rattle the pattern of thought process that enslaves the soul and torments it. But you’ve to take the medication, and that’s action!
Ask, how can a thing such as an idea, something that barely exists, has no physical form whatsoever, carry so much weight?
Well, simple, let’s just say that a fight starts, it can either go on until one or both sides are down, or someone could just stand up and solve it peacefully, make them all kiss and make up, you see.
When a whole village were stoning a prostitute to death, it would have taken so much riot police to stop them, and even then, there would have been too much causality. Jesus simply walked in, and stopped them with just a thought packed in a sentence, see!
In fact, consider yourself as the world again, and the current situation, a pile of mud in your hands. You take an idea out of your head, give the confused masses a shape and a direction. you create a pot/vessel out of that clay.
You give it such a shape that it can contain water, there! Now ain’t it convenient?
You’ve just witnessed the life story of an idea. How it was born inside your head, grew up through your actions, and ended with a lifetime achievement award, leaving it’s mark on this world, you.
The world looking at the vessel and remembering the idea lovingly and with awe... proudly saying, “Ah, see this, I did it!”
Wait now, don’t you worry too much, let’s take a break and reflect on your past, You, Dear World! I am talking to you!
How once upon a time we were savages... oh, how far we have progressed!
Sometimes, if you look at it through glasses made out of a quite night and an early spring morning, you’ll realise that peace is directly related to progress. What is now outrageous, was, once the norm.
All the philosophers, scientists, saints... they paid less attention to the grasslands of everyday thoughts, and spent the thinking energy on the wild forest of gigantic ideas, so within our reach, but unable, too many distractions... Tie yourself to reality with a rope made out of true love, justice, and the truth! Think!
Every last one of them... See the pattern? They moved to the next level, they became super beings! They fought for the truth, didn’t they?
Their ally, ideas.
They wielded, naught but it!
Why kick or push the robot, use the remote!
Our history is our experience, mankind will grow mild, loving, understanding, mature, and humble as it grows, as do human beings, just as, up to some point, your taste in music.
Only thing is, in the case of mankind, we are the hormones. We’ve to turn this boy (mankind) into a man, then and only then, will mankind be fit enough to reproduce, in this case, live on...
But ages ago, there were so many philosophers and saints, you ask? Well, yeah, but media was missing, and therefore, their ideas couldn’t spread fast enough, far enough, simple!
So now that we have media, what do we do, you ask?
Simple! I ask all the TV channels, I ask all the directors and producers of this world, get together... Let’s write history!
We’ll tell this world, “There now, there’s world peace, and here’s the bill: your love!”
Let’s give humanity no other choice but to absolutely adore us.
Let me pitch an idea to the producers/directors of this world, and it’s free:
Why don’t we make a reality show about saving this earth? Yeah, why just save the world, let’s make some profit out of it too, while we’re at it, shall we? About solving all it’s problems? Like survivor, but instead, focus on groups saving the world, and the group that helps the most, wins? Like a reality adventure, where billionaires go around helping the cause they believe in, helping the needy and stuff. All you billionaires, all around the world, listen up, all you media moguls! Let’s make this happen! I can’t drag this world into the story on my own, unless you help, by doing your part. Go, become heroes! You’ve already become billionaires, now, go, on to the next level! Drag all your fantasies out, become the superheroes you’ve always dreamt of becoming!
Don’t be content with all these weak s**t! Let’s uncoil the gods with us all!
Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Oprah, Tiger Woods, and all powerful business man/women, if this world is your workplace, how would you make it more efficient? How would you run it? What about some of your employers fighting amongst themselves, does it makes you company (world) progress? Don’t fire them, please, remember the “liver disease” part? How did you build your empire? You all have successfully built an empire, now build this world!
Let’s turn this generation into a legend, every generation, before and after, will remember!
Why don’t you guys get together and do that with this world?
There, I’m throwing immortality right into your laps! The idea itself is the immortality pill, eat it, and that’s action, which means:
You put the pill in your mouth...
You put the idea into action...
Put it into action, and Walla! Now, you’re immortal!
Trick all the doubts out of our thinking patterns?
C’mon, heaven is that near!
Take care, and have fun!
Regards,
-Eddieson O
A breeze blows inside your skull now...
“HELLO!”
A voice brings Tim’s attention back to his immediate surroundings, atop the super ghostly spaceship.
There, far away on the other end of the spaceship, standing, were two and a half figures!
By that, I mean, two figures, and one, you couldn’t properly see...
“Do I know you guys?” yelled Tim.
“Maybe, maybe not, but we sure do know you, Tim! Nice to meet you, bro! You super retarded funball kid, you! I am Eddieson, I see that you’ve found that note, I wrote.” Said a lazy dumb sounding guy, sounding real excited, hehe!
“Well, why did you write me a note? How do you know my name?” asked Tim.
“You know what, the funny thing is, it’s magick, you see!” Eddieson replies, with a grin reflecting yellow light all over the place, you should’ve seen the bugs it displaced, hehe!
“It reads ‘Hello (YOUR NAME HERE. READERS? YOU?) at the beginning, you just saw your name, cause it’s addressed to the reader, and at that moment, you were reading it.” He added!
“Oh... um... sorry Mister, but I don’t know your name, and funny, I can’t seem to get a good look at you, you know, can’t warp my vision/mind around you.” Said Tim, turning to the man who barely was there.
“Ah, Nobody!” replied a voice of voices from a thousand different dimensions!
“This time the brotherhood will include this whole world, so that there are no enemies, whatsoever, left to stop us from turning this world into a dream machine! Everyone will be on our side! Fun, fun, fun!”
“...I can’t tell you my name due to copyright reasons, but it starts with a ‘W’. Good chap, you turned out to be! You look as bright as a brick!
...um... brick’s can sometimes be real shinny, you know... well...nothing, nothing... carry on, carry on!” said the thin man in a shabby suit, in a thick British accent.
“Red Jack passed this way not so long ago, looks like he’s got a plan!” Eddieson cut in.
“He’s changed a lot now, I heard. Bystander says, he’s now completely transformed from his counter-writing the cosmic writer (who ironically is himself, sort of), the being who was writing his story, heard that the cosmic writer has transformed a lot too!
Red Jack’s turned into this being, a red walking garment with a mask floating atop, where normally, his dumb face use to be! And he’s got wicked powers, oh, and did you see his house? He heals sick/injured butterflies by sticking them on the walls of his healing hall! Dumb guy says he feeds off their pain, recycles it into healing energy or something!” said Tim.
SEMI-OUTRO: We’ll come to all that later on, but right now, let’s continue with the story!
What’s up, Red Jack?
LESSON AGAIN: HOW TO RECYCLE THE MEANING OF A WORD, OR THE AURA OF A NAME!
Damp walls close in again, and Red Jack blinks, the walls run away, as he does so... transforming the room into a gigantic hall.
Stairs ascend and descend, and Red Jack glides, rests himself on the highest top right corner of the hall wall, and meditates.
His love... Jane... another persona of her existing... wants to help her, and her superhero team, of absolutely retarded freaks! But a problem, there is a girl among them, in a coma, about to transform... either into an angel like being of sorts, or literally into “The end of all things good” and only he can see to it that she transforms into this angel like being, and not PURE EVIL!
Lately, he’s been going nuts, worried about his love, and how others were torturing her... he even started posting on DV!
The only way to do that is that she inflicts some damage on him, using his own weapon... steal, and attack?
That would transform them both, her, slowly, him, instantly!
Was he willing to risk it, for his love? Yeah, darn all, chop-chop, he thought!
“Am I the idea that I am gonna use to recycle the aura of the name, ‘Red Jack’?” he thought out aloud... “is such a thing even possible?
Yeah! It was so, so simple... yes, I see a hospital in my sight!”
Stairs descend, and walls play doors...
And out walks Red Jack, for the “lady in a coma”, sure to meet Jane that way, they’ll come to him, thinking that he’s gonna harm her, no he’s saving them all plus meeting his love one last time.”
He thought about it for a while, back in his halls, the “girl in a coma” disposed on the healing couch behind him... then they came!
A robot like thing, Jane, a three-in-one freak, and a young man.
He decides to have some fun...
Taste the strength of his lover’s companions, to make sure, if they’d be able to protect her, in his absence.
One by one they go down, but something about them, a will, for the truth, for justice... a will that couldn’t be contained, or restricted in any way... TRUTH, FIGHT FOR THE TRUTH!
FIND THE TRUTH!
Who is Red Jack?
God?
Jack the Ripper?
Nah, just a good guy, this time around, name just happens to be “Red Jack”, what’s in a name, a label?
He’d be so good that the name “Red Jack” would be forced to have a good aura too! Yeah, give the darn black cloud a silver lining! Yeah, Red Jack/jack the Ripper was a psycho killed, is burning in hell... not the Red Jack in this story, not him, he’s just another good guy, who’s name happens to be “Red Jack”, he never killed a fly, let alone a human! One, who’s been turned into a bad guy by people who didn’t bother to find the TRUTH ABOUT THIS RED JACK!
“Ask Eddieson Okram, he’ll understand my agony!” he thinks...
Ah, let me go out in style he thinks as the “girl in a comma” wakes up briefly and stabs him with his own weapon!
“Dear Jane, I love you beyond control!” he thinks as he starts to vanish...
And with that, he vanishes, and the mask tumbles to the ground... he’s flying through the nebulas and galaxies... he’s... he’s turned back into Naoba, now! And by his side, one of Jane’s many personas, the one which could exist away from Jane, as a separate being as his soulmate, as Jackie(?), follows him, one dimension, into another!
Outro: Somewhere in Toronto, Eddieson Okram who studied performing art at GBC on fall 05, and studied graphic design at the same college during winter 07, felt as if he’d found himself again, in a girl “J.T”, whom he met on “myspace.com” and was listed as from Vancouver in her profile.
“Ok, time to trap this world into world peace, he thought.”
Almost three years passed now... and that’s how long it took for this step inside the story to take, this time, it started in Vancouver, and Toronto... and all the people who’re reading this, welcome to the story, help me drag the rest of the world, in...
OUTRO:
The lesson is a charm designed to deliver justice to evil, corrupted hearts, beware!
Let’s try to fully understand this on every level...
It’s multi-layered, you see...
GET TO THE TRUTH, AT ALL COST!
And then, and only then, God’ll bless you!
SEE YA ALL AT THE NEXT CHAPTER! MUCH, MUCH MORE COMMING UP, Bi- weekly NOW!

AUTHOR'S NOTE

2008-04-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This story, when I first started, was created as a vehicle to travel into the world of imagination and gather ideas and characters, and bring them out, but there was a catch. I needed an anchor to keep my feet tied to the ground, and I needed the strongest possible rope to find my way back, in case I get lost, had to make this rope out of love.

True love.

You see, the thing is that you can walk around and gather ideas from the safe and explored zone, but the ideas here were small and tamed, a grassland, I wanted to explore emotions and ideas so huge, call it a wild forest of ideas where there's enough beauty to completely transform you, but also enough ideas so horrible that it'd make you just snap or go insane.
In short, I went into the mouth of madness, but in order to be immune to it, I had to fall in love, true love. Love IS madness.
I became madness in order to escape it.
Dressed in love, I was a man landing on the moon without being eaten alive by nothingness.
The thing is that once I started bringing fictionalcharacters out, from the world of imagination, into this world, I kindda started to think like them. There was a time when one character came out, and, for the first time saw this world through my eyes, normally he would've immideately gone insane after seeing this horror but he had a spacesuit made out of love, hehe, here's what he saw:

Take this world as a room, and all the countries, races, and religions in it as humans. Now what do you see when you walk into this room?
Some people crouching by the walls suffering, some people fighting, some walking around cluelessly and alone, and some following them even more cluelessly.
This world looks like an infected asylum, people! Smarten up!
And not to mention the fact that once in a while when somebody comes in with the truth, you all immideately kill them! Aren't we behaving like brain eating zombies?

All the prophets/saints/whatever are scared, they won't visit anymore. Remember the time way back around the birth of Christ, there were lot's of them were coming, and then it suddenly stopped?

Shouldn't all this people get tougather and play? We'll play a while and then tidy up the room, and then we'll sit tougather and talk to each other. That's the way this world should walk.

We need more promotion of everything. World arts tournament, science tournament etc. hate can't just disappear (without side effects) turn it into friendly healthy competition.
Religions aren't bad either. We need religions to compete in a friendly, “which religion is the kindest and most giving” game.
This world is just an infant. It has all the senses required (in the form of different fields of science, arts, and every little differences we have) but this baby can't walk yet because it's senses aren't co-ordinated yet. Once we unite, senses co-ordinate, and we take our first step.
We haven't begun our lives yet people, I think this little baby called “world” is gonna grow up into one sexy adult and have wonderful adventures.
C'mon let's take our first step tougather, cheers!
No more need to look up our butts and ask ourselves, “what's the secret of life?” when it's right there in front of us.
Thank u, and peace!
Oh and don't fight the power, the power is ours, use it!

- Eddieson Okram